Chapter 07
Personal Relationships
Relationships
Relationships are about knowledge, ways of understanding the world, and connecting people
symbolically. Relationships are a fundamental part of what you know about the world, how to act,
what to think, what to value, and what to believe. You have developed what you know, how you view
the world, and who you are through interactions with family, friends, romantic partners, neighbors,
classmates, colleagues, enemies, acquaintances, and the lift continues. The development of your
knowledge, worldview, and self never ends, by the way. They are continuously being transformed,
reinforced, and otherwise altered through relationships. It is important to recognize the mutual
influences of personal relationships, media, and technology.
What are personal relationships?
There are a range of different relationship types which are represented by different styles of
communication. Some relationships may be characterized by formal communication (business
acquaintances) or by informal communication (friends). These types of relationships are also
understood differently within a culture.
Friend = relational category that might be evaluated positively
Enemy = relational category that might be evaluated negatively
Ultimately, relationships can be placed into two broad categories: social relationships and personal
relationships.
SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS are those in which the participants are interchangeable and communicate using
socially understood norms and roles. These involve people with whom a close relationship is not
necessarily shared.
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS are those in which the participants are irreplaceable and communicate in
close, unique ways. Unlike social relationships, personal relationships involve people who cannot be
replaced by someone else. You are using patterns of interaction and meaning systems exclusively to
that particular relationship (unique and different). Social relationships can become more personal.
Benefits of personal relationships
Personal relationships provide ways of knowing and support.
RELATIONSHIPS AND WHAT YOU KNOW
All forms of communication show how you rely on your connections with other people to filter your
knowledge and help you critically evaluate events, people, and situations. The people you spend you
, spend your time with influence the messages you send or attend to, the information you believe, the
type of critical thinking you do, and how you evaluate the outcomes. Relationships are also significant
to the formation and trans action of knowledge.
FILTERING WHAT YOU KNOW
Relationships exert influence on the distribution of information. Certain information is shared among
members of social networks.
EVALUATING WHAT YOU KNOW
Communicating with others also offers opportunities for people to test their knowledge of the world.
People might offer you corrections, those around you may offer different views of the world that
challenge your understandings, but may also support your beliefs and views of the world.
RELATIONSHIPS AND SUPPORT
Relationships also provide with various forms of support.
Weiss (1974): six specific areas where relationships provide us with something special, needed, or
value. These are provisions of relationships, the deep and important psychological and supportive
benefits that relationships provide.
BELONGING AND A SENSE OF RELIABLE ALLIANCE
A major benefit that people gain from relationships is belonging and a sense of reliable alliance.
Feeling connected with others provides a sense of stability and provides feelings of comfort.
Relationships also enable people to feel that someone is there for them if they are ever in need of
assistance, someone looks after their interests and cares for them.
EMOTIONAL INTEGRATION AND STABILITY
Personal relationships also provide people with opportunities to express and evaluate emotions.
OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABOUT YOURSELF
A key provision of personal relationships is the ability to talk about one’s self. This activity is not only
enjoyable but also provides opportunities to derive other relational provisions. One of the main
things that makes a relationship more rewarding to people is a sense of being known and accepted.
PROVISION OF PHYSICAL SUPPORT
Relationships provide physical assistance when needed. These are favors that friends do for one
another as part of the role of friendship. Different relationships are generally associated with
different forms of physical support, and different types of support are offered.
REASSURANCE OF WORTH AND VALUE
People may find a subtle reassurance of their world when someone gives up time for them by
providing physical support. Relationships show people how others see the world, how they
represent/present it, what they value in it, what matters to them, and how one’s own way of thinking
fits in with theirs. In such talk and action, they reassure one’s worth and value as a human being.
Initiating relationships: the relationship filtering model