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Factors that Affect Who We Fall in Love With

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The topic of love has been discussed at lengths by sociologists and biologists over the years. Though the discussions vary significantly, there is agreement that people are naturally drawn to each other in a romantic bond, which is usually between members of the opposite sex. This research shows th...

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  • April 28, 2021
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Factors that Affect Who We Fall in Love With


Introduction


The topic of love has been discussed at lengths by sociologists and biologists over the years.

Though the discussions vary significantly, there is agreement that people are naturally drawn to

each other in a romantic bond, which is usually between members of the opposite sex. This

research shows that there are a variety of factors that determine who we fall in love with. These

factors can be broadly categorized into social, environmental and biological influences. From a

social point of view, people fall in love when they discover similarities or shared appreciation for

certain values, or when are feel that they are in close proximity, or when they find mutually

beneficial interests also known as reciprocity. Biologically, people fall in love based on sexual

hormones and physical attraction as discussed in this essay.


Similarities


In their routine interactions, people usually discover certain similarities that make them

fall in love. According to a survey conducted in New York University, some of the common

similarities that draw two individuals together include shared values and beliefs sociologists

explain (Giles 347). For instance, while studying together in college or participating in social

platforms, a person who values spirituality and religion may encounter a likeminded colleague

, with a deep appreciation for meditation and prayer from which a mutual bond begins to develop.

Similarly, sociologists explain that when people find they have a common understanding of

language, culture, or identity, they tend to become close friends. Then, given this understanding,

they begin to discover other things that they like, which strengthens the bond. Speaking the same

language and sharing cultural identity means that a man and a woman find some kind of comfort

around each other more than they do with others. They may attend the same festivities and social

gatherings as well. Eventually, they find that they have fallen in love based on these similarities


At first, the idea of shared values will bring the couple together where both may agree to

spend more time with the curiosity of what is likely to transpire. This curiosity marks the initial

stage of exploration (Giles 347). After spending time together, they may discover deeper

connections in their quest probably based on the foundation of their beliefs or a shared

appreciation for the presence of a higher power. Usually, people begin to engage more and there

develops a feeling of fondness and they become intimate either instantly or over a period of time.

Therefore, people are capable of falling in love with those who are more like them since they feel

somehow connected.


Proximity


Sociologists now believe that proximity has a significant influence in drawing people

together in a romantic bond. Some people live in close physical vicinity with each other in that

they attend the same school, belong to the same neighborhood, or attend the same social circles.

As a result, their proximity develops a relationship in which they are constantly bumping into

each other in a way that they become close friends at the beginning. Take an example of two

teenagers – a boy and a girl - growing up next door to each other. Circumstances demand that

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