He iwas, ifor iher, ia isurrogate ison i– isomeone ion iwhom ito ilavish iher ifrustrated imaternal ilove
She iwas ipresent iat ihis ibirth iand iwas idrawn ito ihim iimmediately
His iarrival irepresented ia ikind iof irebirth ifor iher, iwhen ishe ifelt ias ithough i“everything iwas
washed iclean”
“Because ithe iboy iexpected ithe ibest iof ithe iMadam, iand ithought inothing iof iher isorrow, ihe
imanaged ito iprovide ia iplace iwhere ishe icould ilaugh iagain iand ibe ia ibetter iperson ifor ia
iwhile.”
However, iLooksmart iwas idestined ito ibe ianother idisappointment ifor iher
o As ihe igrew iolder i+ ihis iawareness iof ithe isociety iinto iwhich ihe ihad ibeen iborn ibegan
ito idevelop, iPatricia isensed ithat i he i“started ito ijudge” iher.
o She ididn’t iappreciate ihow itraumatised iLooksmart ihad ibeen iby iGrace’s iviolent ideath
and iso, ias ifar ias ishe iwas iconcerned, ihe ihad isimply iabandoned iher i+ ivanished
o Looksmart’s idesertion iwas idifficult ifor iher ito ibear i+ i“when ihe iwent iit iwas ilike iall
the icolour ihad ifaded ifrom ithe iworld”
o In iher iview, itheir irelationship i“had ibeen ifar itoo isignificant” ito icut ities iforever, ibut
ias iyears ipassed, ishe i“came ito ithink iof ihim ias ianother idead ichild”
She imay ihave ibeen iprotecting iherself ifrom ithe iharsh itruth ithat ishe imeant
iless ito ihim ithan ihe idid ito iher
o The imemory iof iLooksmart ibecame ianother isource iof ipain
“She ispent iher iwhole ilife iwatching ithe ithings ithat ihave imattered ithe imost ito iher ileaving
her.”
Wilful Ignorance?
i
She iis ilargely iignorant iof ithe iimpact iof iapartheid iideology ion iher irelationship iwith
iLooksmart
She ichose ito iignore ithe iviolent iinjustice iof iapartheid i(even ias iwar iraged ion iher idoor istep)
However, ishe iwasn’t iuntouched iby iits iideologies
o She iisn’t ias iprejudiced ias iRichard, ibut iher iracism ibetrays iitself iin isubtle i+
unconscious iways
o She itends ito ishy iaway ifrom ithe itruth
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