,Contents
Inleiding............................................................................................................................................................................. 5
Uit de debatten blijkt .................................................................................................................................................... 5
Visie op ouderschap door de jaren heen ...................................................................................................................... 5
Dus: er is nood aan een ouderschapstheorie ................................................................................................................... 9
Ouderschapsmodel van Van der Pas ................................................................................................................................ 9
Kern van ouderschap (proloog p17-21) ........................................................................................................................ 9
De ouderlijke werkvloer .............................................................................................................................................. 10
De schijf van vijf = 5 basisvaardigheden ......................................................................................................................... 10
Vaardigheid 1: veiligheid bieden................................................................................................................................. 11
Vaardigheid 2: verzorging ........................................................................................................................................... 12
Vaardigheid 3: zicht houden op het kind .................................................................................................................... 12
Vaardigheid 4: verwachting en eisen stellen .............................................................................................................. 13
Vaardigheid 5: grenzen stellen ................................................................................................................................... 14
Debat nature vs nurture: ................................................................................................................................................ 16
Timen en doseren ........................................................................................................................................................... 16
Een eind-loze keten van incidenten ............................................................................................................................ 16
Technieken van timen en doseren .............................................................................................................................. 17
4 modellen om te timen en doseren: ............................................................................................................................. 17
A. Furman ................................................................................................................................................................ 17
B. Trad: “previewing” .............................................................................................................................................. 17
C. Stern: “affect attunement” ................................................................................................................................. 18
D. Vygotsky: “zone van naaste ontwikkeling” ......................................................................................................... 18
Kinderontwikkeling en ouderschapsgroei....................................................................................................................... 19
Ouderschapsontwikkeling (p68) ................................................................................................................................. 19
Opvoedingsopgaven: variaties op het thema ............................................................................................................. 19
Hoe zal het uitpakken?................................................................................................................................................ 20
Wat voelen ouders? ........................................................................................................................................................ 20
6 Bronnen van onaangename emoties ....................................................................................................................... 20
Gedempte emoties ..................................................................................................................................................... 22
Werking van emoties .................................................................................................................................................. 22
Bufferprocessen. Welke processen?............................................................................................................................... 24
Vier bufferprocessen................................................................................................................................................... 24
Het takenpakket: 2 soorten taken .................................................................................................................................. 25
Maatschappij............................................................................................................................................................... 25
3 niveaus van betrokkenheid .......................................................................................................................................... 26
‘Moedertaken’ en ‘vadertaken’ ...................................................................................................................................... 26
De impact van genderboodschappen ............................................................................................................................. 26
1
, Gender en sekse.......................................................................................................................................................... 26
Vrouwelijke en mannelijke ouders ............................................................................................................................. 27
Centrale moeders en perifere vaders (klassieke plaatje) ........................................................................................... 27
Lieve ouders en strenge ouders (stereotype beeld) ................................................................................................... 27
Vaders en moeders van meisjes; moeders en vaders van jongens ............................................................................ 27
Een vlechtwerk van genderinvloeden ......................................................................................................................... 27
De groei van ouderschap wordt mee beïnvloed… ...................................................................................................... 28
Macht versus invloed. ..................................................................................................................................................... 28
Vadergedrag en moedergedrag: een zaak van agressiehuishouding ............................................................................. 28
Ouderschap ≠ partnerschap............................................................................................................................................ 29
De ouderrelatie op de werkvloer .................................................................................................................................... 29
Voorgrond en achtergrond: het wisselen van de wacht............................................................................................. 29
Delegeren, overlaten en vertrouwen.......................................................................................................................... 30
Verschillende visies op het kind .................................................................................................................................. 30
Ruzie ............................................................................................................................................................................ 30
De ouderrelatie onder druk ............................................................................................................................................ 30
Scheuren in de ouderlijke solidariteit ......................................................................................................................... 30
Ouderschapstekorten en hun gevolgen voor de ouderrelatie ................................................................................... 30
Boven het kind staan en boven zichzelf staan ................................................................................................................ 31
‘meta’ is niet synoniem met macht ............................................................................................................................ 31
Een kwalitatief verschil ............................................................................................................................................... 31
Een dubbelrol .............................................................................................................................................................. 32
Problemen met de metapositie ...................................................................................................................................... 32
Vanuit de werkvloer .................................................................................................................................................... 32
Vanuit het kind ............................................................................................................................................................ 32
Vanuit de ouder zelf .................................................................................................................................................... 32
Vanuit de partner ........................................................................................................................................................ 32
Van buiten de werkvloer ............................................................................................................................................. 32
Benedeks analyse van een intrapsychisch proces .......................................................................................................... 33
1. Herbeleving ......................................................................................................................................................... 33
2. Identificatie ......................................................................................................................................................... 34
3. Empathie ............................................................................................................................................................. 34
4. Secundair narcisme ............................................................................................................................................. 34
5. Vertrouwen in het ouderlijk zelf ......................................................................................................................... 34
6. Oude wonden helen............................................................................................................................................ 34
Aandacht voor omstandigheden in onderzoek naar ouderschap .................................................................................. 35
Urie Bronfenbrenner................................................................................................................................................... 35
Conclusie ..................................................................................................................................................................... 35
2
, Een theoretische keuze ................................................................................................................................................... 36
Nogmaals het sleutelkind............................................................................................................................................ 36
Gunstige en ongunstige omstandigheden .................................................................................................................. 36
Verschillende lagen: ........................................................................................................................................................ 36
Definitie ontwikkeling: ................................................................................................................................................ 37
Omstandigheden op verschillende niveaus .................................................................................................................... 37
1. Microniveau ........................................................................................................................................................ 37
2. Exoniveau ............................................................................................................................................................ 37
3. Mesoniveau ......................................................................................................................................................... 38
4. Macroniveau ....................................................................................................................................................... 38
Inleiding........................................................................................................................................................................... 39
Definitie........................................................................................................................................................................... 39
Pleegzorg of adoptie? ..................................................................................................................................................... 39
Verschillende vormen ..................................................................................................................................................... 40
Ondersteunende pleegzorg ........................................................................................................................................ 40
Crisispleegzorg ............................................................................................................................................................ 40
Perspectiefzoekende pleegzorg .................................................................................................................................. 40
Perspectief-biedende pleegzorg ................................................................................................................................. 40
Behandelings-pleegzorg .............................................................................................................................................. 40
Vrijwillig of gedwongen?................................................................................................................................................. 41
Tendensen....................................................................................................................................................................... 41
Naar een nieuwe rol voor biologische ouders? .............................................................................................................. 42
Perspectief van pleegouder: ........................................................................................................................................... 42
Wat is ouderschap?......................................................................................................................................................... 42
Beleving van ouderschap ................................................................................................................................................ 42
Welzijn ouders ............................................................................................................................................................ 43
Een motivationele analyse van het ouderschap ............................................................................................................. 44
Zelf-determinatie theorie ........................................................................................................................................... 44
Deel 1: over de energetische basis van ouderschap: de rol van behoeftesatisfactie en -frustratie .............................. 44
Psychologische basisbehoeftes = vitamines voor groei .............................................................................................. 44
De energetische basis van ouderschap ....................................................................................................................... 44
Link met ouderlijke burn-out ...................................................................................................................................... 45
Conclusie ......................................................................................................................................................................... 45
Deel 2: over de richting van gedrag in de ouderlijke rol: het belang van een ouderlijke identiteit als een intern
kompas ............................................................................................................................................................................ 46
Ouderlijke identiteit .................................................................................................................................................... 46
Link tussen ouderlijke identiteit en ouderlijke burn-out? .......................................................................................... 46
Deel 3: over de richting van gedrag in de ouderlijke rol: motivatie voor het ouderschap ............................................. 47
3
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