A relationship contract should be a verbal or written agreement in which both partners
agree to and adhere to. Personally, I am currently not in a relationship, so this would be a
contract between myself and a potential partner. However, it is also a good idea to have some
ideas in mind about the characteristics and traits of a partner that are suitable for healthy dating.
In the beginning of a relationship, we tend to let our emotions guide us and might not consider
the comparison level as much as we should. This way we can determine ahead of time if the
costs of the relationship outweighs the rewards.
First and foremost, I am personally in long-term recovery. It would be ideal that my
partner either be in recovery themselves. My recovery has and always will come first, and it is
one of the first principles that I live by and must be upheld. In her book, Easy Does It Dating
Guide for People in Recovery, Mary Faulkner states “The principles apply to everything in life,
including dating and relating. Recovery works because it provides information and offers options
for making healthy choices” (Faulkner, 2004, p. 3). Other characteristics that are very important
to me are rigorous honesty, a sense of humor, and optimism. Having an honest partner is the most
important out of the three, second would be to have an optimistic outlook on life, and then to be
able to have a sense of humor. It would also be ideal for my potential partner to be independent,
stable, and intelligent. The person would need to be able to take care of themselves, have a job
and a vehicle of their own, and at least have similar interests to mine. It would also be nice to
have someone who is attractive to me both inside and out, sensitive, and capable of being a
mature person.
It should go without saying that we should be able to have an emotionally intelligent
relationship that is based on friendship and not lust. Regarding the timing and my expectations of
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