General Remarks
This is a fairly good essay that generally meets the assignment brief, and you have attempted to balance your chosen
areas of discussion to come to a conclusion of whether IAPT has improved primary care. This essay would have
benefitted from you further exploring fewer areas to better showcase your critical analyses. By reducing your focus,
and giving these focuses greater attention, you would have likely attained a higher mark for this essay. However, you
do show some clear potential for a good standard of critical analysis –well done.
Structure & Organisation
The essay flowed well with a clear introduction, main body and conclusion. The content was appropriately organised,
although some areas were touched on briefly and without enough depth allowing you little room to counterbalance
your arguments before coming to a balanced conclusion (see below). The essay would have benefited from focusing on
fewer areas but in more depth.
Knowledge & Understanding
You demonstrated an understanding of some of IAPT’s costs and benefits, such as the initial argument around cost
effectiveness of treatment sessions. This mainly compared the predicted cost-effectiveness to the actual cost-
effectiveness and did not entirely address the question of whether there was an improved from pre-IAPT as you gave
no evidence for how cost effective the previous system was. It would also have been beneficial to acknowledge the
other key argument for IAPT’s introduction was that it would be cost-effective through increasing productivity and
reducing state benefits. At times there were areas that were too brief with little explanation or definition, such as what
stepped care is and how it works, which would have given more context to your arguments.
Critical Evaluation
You do make some attempts to present a balanced critique of IAPT improvements (or lack thereof) of primary care.
However, some arguments do tend to focus on the negative aspects of IAPT, rather than taking a critical stance and
appraising both pros and cons, before coming to an evidence based conclusion which would allow for a wider and
more accurate picture.
You also need to critically evaluate individual papers used making sure to highlight limitations to the studies
themselves as well as being aware of the year the papers were published and how this may affect your conclusion (i.e.
have self-referrals improved in the 11 years since the Hamilton paper was published?).
You came to some well thoughtful through conclusions, although some of these were discussed very briefly in the main
body which means not all points were backed up by a robust evidence-based argument.
Sourcing
You have clearly read widely around the subject area. Your referencing technique was consistent and in line with APA
guidelines.
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