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Class notes FRHD 2100
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Full course notes for FRHD 2100, Development of human sexuality
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FRHD 2100 FINAL EXAM NOTES – UNITS 7-12Unit 7
Sexual Fantasies and Behaviours
Topic Commentary
This topic discusses variations in human sexual behaviour, and begins with a discussion of “what is
normal?” The answer is, it depends on what you mean by normal. Some consider a behaviour normal if
lots of people engage in it (that’s a statistical definition). Others use values or social norms to determine
whether an activity is normal. A third approach is considering whether the behaviour causes harm to the
individual or others.
The harm-based approach is used to determine whether or not a sexual interest can be labelled as
a paraphilia or a paraphilic disorder. A paraphilia is an unusual sexual interest, that does not involve
consenting human partners. A paraphilic disorder is diagnosed when this interest causes distress or
impairment to the individual or causes harm to the individual or poses a risk of harm to others. It is
important to note that unharmful paraphilic behaviours between consenting adults can just be
considered “kinky sex.”
Though this may seem straightforward, it isn’t always. Consider BDSM behaviours (an acronym that
refers to bondage, discipline, domination, submission sadism, and masochism). Though individuals may
engage in these with full knowledge and consent of risks, in Canada today, you cannot give consent to
be harmed (Canadian Law Isn’t BDSM-Friendly by Beaumont, 2014). Despite these laws in place, they
have been rarely enforced. Nonetheless, the fear of legal reprisal exists among individuals in BDSM
communities.
There are a lot of misconceptions about BDSM, but at its core, it often comes down to an interest in
playing with power in relationships. Sometimes BDSM activities involve physical pain or humiliation.
Many people enjoy forms of role-playing or integrate aspects of pain (like hair pulling) in their sexual
encounters. Communication is key to learning what our partners like and expressing our own desires
and limits. As with many of the topics in this chapter (like exhibitionism, or a foot fetish), with a
consenting partner, these activities are not harmful and can enhance our sexual lives.
However, other paraphilias, like voyeurism, frotteurism, and zoophilia, do not involve consenting others.
These activities cause distress (for the person engaging in them or their non-consenting victims) and are
illegal in Canada.
Treatments for paraphilias vary; some are medical (e.g., antidepressants which may reduce recurrent
urges, or antiandrogens to reduce the production of testosterone), and others are psychological (e.g.,
systematic desensitization). Some people with paraphilias are resistant to treatment, and go because a
partner or family member insists, or undergo treatment because it is legally mandated after an offence.
The key lies in determining if a behaviour or sexual interest is distressing or harmful to oneself or others
and then determining the approach that is most likely to be successful in reducing sexual urges and
behaviours.
,Main Takeaways
In this final topic we learned about sexual variations. Some of these are pathological, and can cause
harm to the person engaging in them or to others. Some of them represent variations that may cause
discomfort or relational difficulties. For some, they are activities which provide variety and pleasure
between consenting adults. Hopefully reading this chapter gave you some idea about how to tell if a
sexual variation is a problem, and how paraphilias can be treated.
Key points to take away:
• There are a number of ways of determining if sexual behaviour is “normal.”
• Paraphilic interests may be unharmful and considered “kinky sex” if they are explored with
consenting adult partners. They can be considered a paraphilic disorder if they cause an
individual to be distressed or cause harm or threat of harm to the individual or others.
• The origins of paraphilias can be considered using biological, sociological, or psychological
perspectives. Some suggest that paraphilias arise as a result of early childhood experiences.
• Paraphilic disorders are often challenging to treat. Common treatments are medical and
psychological.
• Language for out of control sexual behaviour varies – including sex addiction, hypersexuality,
and compulsive sexual behaviour. The terms used have different implications – for example
locating the issue within the individual (as per addiction) vs. focusing on the behaviours
(compulsive sexual behaviour).
Sexual Variations
Topic Commentary
The topics this week are sexual behaviours and fantasies! These are the topics that lots of people THINK
sex research is all about, but actually, these areas are under-researched.
As you read, I hope you’ll notice the way that the sexual behaviour chapter is presented. Most sexuality
textbooks describe sexual activities and positions as very gendered (i.e., female on top position,
missionary position). In the new version of the textbook used for this course (the 6th Edition), all of the
sexual positions have been renamed! They are described in an inclusive way that individuals in any type
of relationship or with any identity could identify with. You’ll notice the book doesn’t use male and
female pronouns but talks about the receptive and insertive partner. The book discusses vaginal
penetration rather than vaginal sex (because vaginal sex is typically considered to be a sex act between a
man and a woman, a penis and a vagina - and not all encounters are comprised of those individuals).
The book indicates that penetration may occur by a penis, dildo, sex toy, or a prosthetic. The book also
removes the word “foreplay” – which privileges penis/vagina intercourse as the “main event” and talks
about the noncoital partnered activity. We are hoping that trans people, and people of all sexual
orientations, will feel more included when reading this book.
This topic begins with a discussion of sexual fantasies. From the media spotlight and research spotlights
on this topic, you will learn that sexual fantasies are common. However, having a fantasy does not mean
that you want to engage in that behaviour. Is your sexual fantasy “normal’? Maybe instead of asking
that question, you can consider whether the fantasy is causing you distress, or whether it’s adding to
your sexual satisfaction and happiness. If you have concerns about your sexual fantasies or behaviours,
,you could reach out to a sex therapist to discuss. Use BESTCO’s Sex Therapists Locator to browse
through a list of trained sex therapists in Ontario here. You could also contact Counseling Services at the
University of Guelph to discuss sexuality or relationship issues.
The book also summarizes research on masturbatory frequency and techniques. You may be surprised
to know that masturbation occurs throughout the lifespan (reported by over one-third of men and
women over the age of 70, over the past year). You may also be surprised to learn that females have a
more diverse range of techniques than do males – Masters and Johnson reported that they never
observed two women masturbating in the same way (in contrast to men who commonly report a
milking motion!).
You’ll also learn about common sexual behaviours, including approaches to sexual touching (a
huge study on cis women’s preferences was recently published, and the findings are very detailed! The
findings are summarized in the text).
Reading this chapter may make you uncomfortable as it provides detailed descriptions (and images) of
sexual activities. On the other hand, maybe it will excite you to know more about the range of sexual
activities and behaviours. But as with all the other content in this course, our aim is to provide you with
the very best, empirically-supported information so that you can make your own choices.
Main Takeaways
In this topic, we learned about sexual fantasies, how diverse sexual activities can be, and pleasure!
Key points to take away:
• Sexual fantasies are common, extremely variable, and may or may not indicate sexual interests.
• Historical ideas about masturbation included that masturbation was harmful to mental and
physical health – these ideas have been disproven, and researchers and educators now consider
healthy masturbation behaviour. People who masturbate often have more satisfying sexual lives
than those who do not.
• Typically sexual behaviours have been described in a very gendered and heteronormative way.
In this course, we are aiming to use different, more inclusive language. As you’ve learned
already, relationship configurations vary greatly. Gone are the days of referring to “the
missionary position” and “woman on top.”
• There are many different techniques for sexual stimulation, and sexual positions vary.
• Some sexual positions are more supportive of other forms of touching and kissing. Others
facilitate sexual activity if one partner is pregnant. All positions have strengths and limitations,
and personal preferences vary!
, Chapter 8
Sexual Behaviours and Fantasies
8.1: Solitary Sexual Behaviour
• Various forms of sexual expression do not require a partner. Masturbation, which involves direct
stimulation of the genitals, is one of the principal forms of one-person sexual expression (though
it’s an activity individuals engage in with other people, as well). Other forms of individual sexual
experience, such as thinking about sex and sexual fantasy, may or may not be accompanied by
genital stimulation.
• A sexual fantasy : can be defined as “almost any mental imagery that is sexually arous-ing or
erotic to the individual” (Leitenberg & Henning, 1995, p. 470). Sexual fantasies can occur
because an individual wants them to (e.g., during masturbation), or they can happen
spontaneously, without conscious effort. A sexual fantasy can range from a brief, erotic mental
picture lasting a few seconds to a lengthy, highly explicit scenario. Nearly all of us have sexual
fantasies of one kind or another.
• People may use sexual fantasies either when they are alone or to heighten sexual excitement
with a partner. Some couples find it sexually arousing to share fantasies or to enact them. Sexual
fantasies may also be experienced without sexual behaviour, as in erotic dreams or daydreams.
Masturbation often requires some form of cognitive stimulation, such as fantasy or viewing
erotica, to reach orgasm.
• There are many theories about sexual fantasies. Some researchers have suggested that sexual
fantasies reflect gender norms and sexual scripts—leading to a greater ten-dency for women’s
sexual fantasies to be more romantic than men’s and for men’s fan-tasies to involve new sexual
partners (Renaud & Byers, 1999). That is, females in most cultures are raised to be more
romance-oriented and more sexually passive than men, while males are raised to be sexually
assertive and to desire a high number of sexual partners. According to this perspective, the
content of our sexual fantasies is influenced primarily by the gender roles we learn as we grow
up. As gender roles become more egalitarian in Western culture, it will be interesting to see
whether men’s and women’s sexual fantasies become less reflective of society’s traditional
double standard. (See Chapter 5 for further discussion of gender roles related to sexuality.)
• Another view that has little, if any, research evidence behind it is that people who fantasize
about sex are less likely to have enjoyable sex lives. That is, the fantasy takes the place of life. In
reality, fantasies can enhance sexual arousal, providing greater plea-sure, and may reflect sexual
satisfaction in a current sexual relationship. For example, a survey of 129 women (85 lesbian, 44
bisexual) who’d been in same-sex relationships for five to ten years found connections between
satisfaction in their relationships and the nature of their sexual fantasies (Robinson & Parks,
2003). By and large, the happier the women were with their relationships, the more likely they
were to fantasize about common activities with their partners. If their relationships weren’t
going so well, they were more likely to fantasize about things they used to do with their
partners, or things they’d done with former partners. Curious about how to talk about fantasies
with a partner? See the Applied Knowledge box on this topic
8.2: Gendered Approaches to Sexual Fantasies
• Research suggests that sexual fantasies are common. Most people have them—even during sex
with another person. Canadian researchers have found that fantasies heighten sexual arousal
during activity with partners (Dawson, Suschinsky, & Lalumière, 2012). Males seem to engage in
sexual fantasies more often than females, but most females do so, also (Wu, Ku, & Zaroff, 2016).
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