- Dewitte, M. (2012). Different Perspectives on the Sex-Attachment Link: Towards an Emotion
Regulation Account. Annual Review of Sex Research, 49, 105-124.
- Dewitte, M. (2014). On the interpersonal dynamics in sexuality. Journal of Sex and Marital
Therapy, 40, 209-232.
Dewitte – Different Perspectives on the Sex-Attachment Link: Towards an Emotion Regulation
Account.
Sex research and attachment research are not well integrated.
It is important to have a cross-fertilization between sex and relationships. As well as in theoretical
perspective, as in clinical practice.
Attachment has the greatest explanatory power for understanding sexual interactions.
Sex and attachment have been linked trough the concept of romantic love. This integrates three
innate behavioural systems: attachment, sex and caregiving.
Sexual behaviour has the greatest reproductive success within an attachment pair bond.
General models: establishing the link between sex and attachment
- The evolutionary perspective
The main goal of attachment is to establish and enduring pair-bond between mates in order to
keep them together long enough to provide reliable care for offspring. Attachment and
commitment between partners increase the survival and reproductive changes of offspring. Both
systems involve different behavioural manifestations, but they affect each other and serve a
similar evolutionary goal; promoting gene survival.
Sex and attachment are independent phenomena, but they are closely related.
Attachment pair-bonding facilitates sex and sex facilitates attachment pair-bonding.
- Behavioural evidence
Sexual desire and romantic love are governed by functionally independent systems. Both systems
have a distinct neurochemical signature.
Sexual desire = gonodal hormones -> not involved in attachment bonding.
The pure biological basis of the sexual system is directed toward desiring sex with any person.
Attachment system = neuropeptides, such as oxytocin, which is released in response to physical
touch and proximity with a significant other and facilitates conditioned associations between a
specific partner and intrinsic feelings of reward.
Both biological circuits operate together to affect sexual relationships.
Oxytocin may be critically implicated in the link between sex and attachment. It is involved in
social and reproductive behaviour. it is associated with the experience of orgasm and the feeling
of satiation after sexual activity.
Attachment bonding facilitates arousability in the same way as sexual gratification facilitates
attachment bonding. Both are mediated by oxytocin. The level of oxytocin influences sexual
arousability.
, - The attachment perspective
Attachment theory: early attachment experiences with primary caregivers are internalized into
mental representations of the self and others. These ‘internal working models’ affect pathways
from childhood to adulthood by shaping cognitive, emotional, and behavioural responses in
intimate relationships. As people build new relationships, they use these cognitive schemes to
interpret the goals or intentions of their relationship partners and behave in ways that are
consistent with how they expect to be treated by others. The quality of attachment interactions
determines the valence of these relational beliefs, which are thought to be the basis of individual
differences in attachment style.
- The attachment behavioural system->
= organized around seeking proximity to
significant others in times of need.
The system is an emotion regulation device
that is oriented towards distress alleviation
and includes different strategies to regulate
negative emotional experiences.
- Attachment style differences in
relational functioning
Attachment styles shape intimate
relationship experiences. Secure
attachment is related to positive
relationship outcomes. Insecure
attachment interferes with adaptive
relational functioning.
- The interplay between attachment and sex as approached from an attachment perspective
o Secure attachment = balance between sex and love
o Attachment anxiety = fusion between sex and love
o Avoidant attachment = independence between sex and love
o On the malleability of attachment insecurity = buffer processes
Meso-models: functional similarities between sex and attachment
- The sexual behavioural system: normative patterns
Many processes underlying the sexual behavioural system show similarities with the mechanisms
assumed to underlie attachment functioning.
- Individual differences in sexual system functioning
Feelings of anxiety and worry may result in chronic activation of the sexual system, leading to an
exacerbation of sexual system dysfunction. Deactivating strategies, on the other hand, would be
driven by a strong wish to downregulate the sexual system.
There is no specific instrument to measure hyperactivation and deactivation of the sexual
system.
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