Extra Credit
Before any comments were made on my essay, I thought my essay was not as well
organized and I was also throwing things into what sounded right. When I was receiving
comment after comment, I grew scared, not wanting to see what kind of comments were being
made. After reading them, I realized that I did a great job. I loved how I was able to apply many
aspects and tools of all three modes of persuasion. I like how I explain things although, I do tend
to overwrite or overexplain. With a quick skim of my essay, I noticed at least an entire page
being solely one paragraph. I would love to work on not overextending my topics, ideas, or
thoughts to get straight to the point. Another thing I would like to add is that I tend to throw in
words that I automatically believe go smoothly with my sentence although, it does not match up.
I received a comment on a word choice and I am glad it was brought up. I want to work on
knowing exactly which kind of word needs to be placed. I also believe that I displayed a great
amount of logical thinking when proving and providing commentary to get my point across. I
would also like to work on how to generalize a situation. I believe that demonstrative,
deliberative, and forensic rhetoric generalizes a topic and at times, I feel as if that knowledge is
simply applied. I want to work on knowing a type of rhetoric when I see it firsthand. Lastly, I
have a love-hate relationship with introductions but, as soon as I get a rhythm, I want to write
every single thing down. I want to know how to stop myself from getting into the juicy details
rather than spoiling them in my introductions. I also want to reduce them very significantly.
Paragraph #1
First, the opposing argument tries expanding the fact that doping should be allowed given
that athletes will continue to dope despite the numerous amounts of testing, and as adults, they
, should be able to make decisions of their own. In an article called, “Doping Should be Allowed”,
written by Ellis Cashmore, it points out that “...despite bans and harsh penalties, doping
continues in sports and most users remain undetected… it is naive to expect that doping can be
eliminated completely; therefore, allowing it is a practical solution to doping in sports”.
Cashmore tries using a tool of pathos, emulation, with the imitation of no matter what the
opposing side tries to do, the athletes still will out beat them. Presenting the idea to normalize
doping for athletes triggers anger within his audience, making this persuasive pathos tool
disarray from his point of view because it is contrary to the fact that he is normalizing it.
Automatically, those agreeing with Cashmore’s point of view rely on pathos because it is not
morally correct, it is simply what they blindly believe. “Were we to treat athletes as mature
adults capable of making informed decisions based on scientific information, we could permit
the use of performance-enhancing substances, monitor the results, and make the whole process
transparent. Instead, we continue to demonize those found guilty of doping violations, willing
ourselves into ignorance” (Cashmore). Continuing after this statement he says that athletes
consume unidentified substances with hazy outcomes that they obtain from unidentified sources.
Also, allowing doping would bring sports out of this covert state and create a setting that is safer
and more in line with the realities of pro sports in the twenty-first century. Cashmore wants his
audience to feel a certain way here, trying to elude them into making them believe that they
should not demonize athletes for using because it reflects poorly on them. Persuading the mind
of his audience in this way jumps to the more specific conclusion that he is using nostalgia,
hoping to nudge at the audience’s past experiences, or thoughts, making them feel convicted for
‘demonizing’ athletes for their doping violations. His statement regarding bringing the sport out
of an abyss of pointless worrying about trying to get rid of doping uses pathos once again. It is as