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Summary Interpersonal communication
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Summary of the book 'Skilled Interpersonal Communication' for the course Interpersonal communication/ Interpersoonlijke Communicatie
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Skilled Interpersonal CommunicationChapter 1: The features of interpersonal communication
Compresence: the mere presence of another to be wakening and motivating influences our
behavior.
We behave differently in company (on-stage) then when we’re alone (off-stage). We enjoy
interacting and is has a positive change in emotional state. We seek, relish and obtain great reward
from social interaction. Unable to engage meaningfully with others feel lonely, unhappy and
depressed. Individuals need to commune with others.
Sociation: the seemingly native need for relationships with others.
3 psychological needs:
- Competence, compromises a wish to feel confident and effective in carrying out actions
achieve one’ goals.
- Relatedness, desire to have close connections and positive relationships with significant
others.
- Autonomy, wanting to feel in control of one’s own destiny
Satisfy effective repertoire of interpersonal skills. Social and interpersonal skills are the means
through which all human relationships are initiated, negotiated, maintained, transformed and
dissolved important skills.
Sociation is also important, because the essence of communication is the formation and expression
of an identity. The self emerges through social interaction. Communication is important for giving
information represents the essence of the human condition. Also good for business lifeearlier
a raise or promotion.
Quality life and communication are related.
Social skills deficit hypothesis: those who lack adequate social skills are at risk of depression
because of their inability to foster positive interpersonal experiences and avoid negative social
experiences.
Interactive skills make sure people are resilient to the ill effects of life crises. You perform better
academically.
Social capital: benefits that accrue from being socially skilled, fostering a large network by good
will, trust and reciprocity and developing a good social reputation. Verzamelde winst. Interpersonal
skills are 1 of the key factors that determined the value of the winst.
What is interpersonal communication?
Communication doesn’t have 1 definition. It means ‘to share’ and ‘to make common’. The process
whereby people share ideas, thoughts and feelings in commonly comprehensive ways through the
exchange of (non)verbal messages. 2 themes:
- Intersubjectivity, striving to understand others and being understood in turn
- Impact, the extent to which a message brings about change in thoughts, feelings or behavior
Generate shared meanings and accomplish social goals. Key features in the process:
- Face-to-face, physical closeness of the interaction
- One-to-one (dyadic)/ small group setting
- Shaped by and conveys information about the personal qualities of the interlocuters
(gesprekspartners) and their social roles and relationships
- Multiplicity of communication channels that are available
, - Interdependence of the interactors
- Feedback available
- Extent of self-disclosure engendered (veroorzaakt)
- Rewards stemming from intensive person-to-person contact
Communication is a process. Sending and receiving messages. At least 2 contributors. Parts of the
communicative process: noise, feedback and context.
- Communicators, people involved in the conversation directly affect the process.
- Message, content of communication. Containing whatever it is the interlocutors wish to
share. Pattern of thoughts, configuration of ideas or other responses to internal conditions
which individuals express themselves. Encoding and decoding.
- Medium, particular means of conveying the message. 3 types of media:
Presentational (voice, face, body). Central to interpersonal communication.
Representational (paintings, architecture, photographs)
Technological/ mechanical (internet, phone, television)
Social presence: degree to which medium is experienced as sociable, warm, sensitive or personal,
creating the impression that the person communicating is ‘real’.
Media richness: media differ in wealth of information. (talking or e-mailing)
- Channel, connects interlocutors and accommodates the medium (sender- receiver). Face-
to-face communication:
Vocal-auditory channel (speech)
Gestural-visual channel (nonverbal communication)
Chemical-olfactory channel (smell)
Cutaneous-tactile channel (touch)
- Code, system of shared meaning by a group. Signs and symbols particular to that code and
specifies rules and conventions for their use.
- Noise, sound and interference with the success of the communicative act that distorts the
message so that the meaning taken is not intended. In source, channel, receiver or context.
Can be internal and external. Ethnic or cultural differences.
- Feedback, sender able to vaststellen the extent to which the message has been successfully
received and the impact it has. Monitor receiver reactions subsequent communications
can be adapted and regulated achieve desired effect. Important for successful social
outcomes.
- Context, can have a powerful influence upon the interaction and the outcomes, the
communication. Interlocutors can also shape aspects of their situation through
communication. Communication takes place within intermeshing frameworks (physical,
social, chronological, relational, time/ temporal and cultural).
Communication is inevitable
Each is aware of the other’s presence and is influenced in what is done as a result. Unless
conditions are lay on, then all behavior becomes communication. Communication acts:
- Performed with the intention of sharing meaning
- Perceived as such by the recipient
- Executed with conscious understanding
- Accomplished by means of a shared code (the relationship between the behavior and what
it represents is a matter of agreed pact).
too extreme problems. Some nonverbal behavior is rather informative than communicative.
,More relaxed restrictions, communicative that:
- Are sent and interpreted as intentional
- Are used with regularity among members of a given social community/ society/ culture
- Have consensually recognized meaning
(facial expression). But communication doesn’t have to rely upon a willekeurige code made of
symbols. Intrinsic codes are biologically rather than socially based (words for dogs in different
languages).
Communication is purposeful
Action is directed by goals that reliably control and motivate the behavioral system. People have a
desired outcome in mind. Communication is to make something happen, achieve a goal. This can be
(un)intentionally. It adds driving force and provides direction for the transaction. Communication is
adjusted, it presupposes the possibility of selection and choice amongst alternative courses of
action communication is a strategic enterprise.
Communication is transactional
Source, receiver transmit a message arrow communication: communication that goes in 1
direction only (linear model). Communicators are senders and receivers of the messages. Recent
transactional conceptualization: dynamic interplay (and the changing and evolving nature of the
process) interlocutors continually affect and are affected by one another (reciprocal influence
system).
Communication is multi-dimensional
Messages exchanged are seldom unitary/ discrete. 2 inter-related levels:
1. Content, has to do with substantive matters (discussing a recent film). These issues form the
topic of conversation and usually spring to mind when thinking about what we do when
communicating.
2. Relationship between interlocutors (identity projection and confirmation). These messages
do with who and what they are and how they wish to be received and reacted to by others.
Identity projection and confirmation
Our identity is formulated and evolves as a result of our interactions. Impression management/
self-presentation: the process of behaving in such a way as to get others to approve the particular
image of self being presented talking about self, but is has to be subtle otherwise it will
backfire less than attractive impression be created. Conveying (overbrengen) the right impression
can offer possible advantages (material or social rewards). Maintain face, engage and not invalidate
the face (politeness vs. criticism).
Relationship negotiation
Determine how participants define their association. Main dimensions:
1. Affiliation (liking)
2. Dominance
3. Intensity
Status differences are negotiated and maintained by subtle and not so subtle means. Power is also
important in relationships. People with less power have to manifest their increased ‘accessibility’
by:
- Initiating fewer topics for discussion
, - Being more hesitant in what they say
- Being asked more questions
- Providing more self-disclosures
- Engaging in less eye contact while speaking
- Using politer forms of address
- Using more restrained touch
There are also norms or expectations that they should do so.
Communication is irreversible
Once something is said, you can’t take it back. Trying to take it back involves mess.
Account: explanations for troublesome acts (apologies, justifications and excuses).
Chapter 2: A conceptual model of skilled interpersonal communication
Interpersonal skill: the skill we employ when interacting with other people. A process in which
individual implements a set of goal-directed, inter-related, situationally appropriate social
behaviors, which are learned and controlled.
Skilled performance is part of a transactional process
Process characterized by an ongoing (non)verbal exchange of collaborative meaning making
skilled co-ordination required. Involves:
- Formulating appropriate goals
- Fabricate related action plans
- Implementing the plans
- Monitoring the effects of behavior
- Being aware of interpreting the responses of others
- Taking cognizance of the context in which the interaction occurs
- Adjusting, adapting or abandoning goals and responses in the light of outcomes
Skilled behaviors are goal-directed
Goals: mental representations (behaviors) of future end-states that we would like to make
happen purposeful. Related to motivation (importance), needs and wants navigate the
interpersonal process. Can be unconscious, automatic.
- Unconscious incompetence; we’re totally unaware of the fact that we are behaving in an
incompetent manner
- Conscious incompetence; we know what we should be doing and we know we’re not doing
it very well
- Conscious competence; we know we’re performing at a satisfactory level
- Unconscious competence; we just do it without thinking about it and we succeed
Skills refer to the degree to which a performed behavior proves successful. Detect the other’s goal.
Skilled behaviors are inter-related
Co-ordinated behaviors in order to achieve the goal, nodding and smiling while the other is talking.
Skills should be appropriate to the situation
Contextual propriety
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