Journal Entry #3
For this journal assignment, you will attempt to use the fourth step on your relationship
by reflecting on a past significant relationship. Specifically, consider the following questions for
your personal reflection. You will not write the answers to these questions in your
post: (a) Identify what was going on prior to starting the relationship. (b) How long were you
with the person before sexual intimacy? (c) How long did the relationship last? (d) What feelings
did you have during the relationship? (e) Who ended it and why? (f) What were your feelings
when the relationship ended? (g) How did you handle your feelings? (h) How long before your
next significant relationship?
After reflecting on each of these questions you will write a journal entry about the
following: (1) What was it like to reflect on this past relationship? (2) What have you learned
about yourself from reflecting on this relationship? Strengths? Vulnerabilities? And (3) What do
you want to be the same and different in your next/current relationship? (4) In what ways did
your reflection connect to the course material? Again, please note that the first set of questions
are meant for your personal reflection. You may write these down, but do not submit them
to your instructor. Your journal entry will be responses to questions 1 – 4. This Journal Entry is
worth 5 points and is due by October 13th (11:59PM).
Reflecting on my past relationship was very intimidating, since it has been a long time since I
have thought about it. Thinking about what was going on prior to the relationship was pertinent,
since at the time I was already in a steady relationship with someone else. What it pointed out to
me is that my relationship pattern was very co-dependent because there was not really a lot of
“me” time between my relationships. That was the obvious vulnerability that I realized when
reflecting. As far as strengths, I know for sure that I was very passionate about whatever
relationship I was in at the time. I enjoyed spending time with my partner and always wanted to
include the other in whatever I was doing.
For my next relationship, I would like things to be very different than they have been for me in
the past. It has been nearly two years since my last, and it ended up being very difficult to
endure. Recently, I have been exploring my independence and becoming more comfortable with
myself. What I do not want for the next relationship is to be dependent on the other person for
my own emotions. However, I would like the other person to “meet me halfway” in all things
related to emotions. I also would like to make sure that I am more in tune with my partner’s
thoughts and feelings more than my own. I feel that by utilizing the “Four Pillars” and the
“Magic Six Hours” concepts in my future relationship, it will allow for much healthier
communication. Also, it will give us the opportunity to share our goals and dreams with each
other so that we can both be mindful of the other’s. I would like very much for it to be a
relationship that can “stand alone”, and I want to be prepared in a way that I do not transpose my
past experiences with my future relationships.
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