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Test Bank in Conjunction with Intimate Relationships,Miller,6e
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Lecture 7 Review Questions with Answers
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Lecture 6 Review Questions with Answers
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Developing Relationships: 2018 Review Questions1. According to Interdependence theory (IT) How do individuals measure their
relationship satisfaction?
They compare their outcomes (rewards – costs) with their comparison level (=value of outcomes that we believe we
deserve in our dealings with others). Our CLs are the standards by which our satisfaction with a relationship is
measured. Satisfaction in close relationships doesn’t depend simply on how good our outcomes are in an absolute
sense. Satisfaction derives from how our outcomes compare to our expectations (CLs).
Outcomes−CL=satisfaction∨dissatisfaction
2. Describe and explain the 4 prototypical relationships defined by IT theory?
1. Happy, stable relationship: current outcomes higher than CLs and CLalts. This is the best relationship.
- Person’s CL lower than CLalt.
- Person’s CL higher than Clalt.
In both situations the person is in happy, stable relationship. Doesn’t matter whether CL is higher than CLalt or vice
versa. Even if they’re exactly the same, the same broad category will apply; if outcomes surpass both CL and CLalt,
that person will be content and unlikely to leave. When CL and CLalt are both better than (or both worse than) one’s
current outcomes, it doesn’t matter which of them is higher than the other; what matters is where each of them is
relative to current outcomes.
2. Unhappy, stable relationship: outcomes fall below CLs but are still higher than CLalts dissatisfied because they’re
getting less than they expect; stable because they’re doing better than they think they can elsewhere and thus will not
leave.
3. Happy, unstable relationship: CLalts are higher than outcomes but CLs are lower than outcomes satisfied because
they’re getting more than they expect; unstable because they have even more attractive outcomes somewhere else,
thus not likely to stay.
4. Unhappy, unstable relationship: outcomes lower than both CLs and CLalts.
- Person’s CL lower than CLalt.
- Person’s CL higher than Clalt.
Again, wouldn’t matter whether their CLs were lower than their Clalts or vice versa; as long as their present outcomes
were lower than both of them, they’d be in unhappy and unstable relationship that probably wouldn’t last much longer.
3. Which has the greater impact on a relationship, costs or benefits? Why?
Costs. Even few frustrations may be influential because negative behaviors in close relationship carry more
psychological weight than similar amounts of positive behavior do. Bad is stronger than good. Losses usually affect us
more than equivalent gains do; we like gains, but we really hate losses. Undesirable events (e.g. criticism) in close
relationships are more noticeable than logically equivalent desirable events (compliment) are. To stay satisfied with
close relationship, we may need to main a rewards-to-costs ratio of at least 5-to-1.
4. Describe and explain the findings of the Gottman & Levenson (1992) study described in
Miller.
In a study by Gottman & Levenson, couples that were maintaining a ratio of positive to negative exchanges of 5:1 or
better, were at low risk of divorce. Couples that disagreed with sarcasm and disdain, got worse scores the longer they
talked. Low-risk couples were more satisfied with their marriages than other couples. More than half of high-risk
couples were divorced or separated only 4 years later whereas just under quarter of low-risk couples had split up. So,
one short discussion provided meaningful information about chances that marriage would last. Couples who didn’t
maintain substantial surfeit of positive exchanges faced twice the risk that their marriages would fail. So, both rewards
and costs are important influences on relationship satisfaction and stability, and there may need to be many more of
the former than the latter. We’d expect happy relationships to be rewarding than punishing.
5. Describe and explain the approach and avoidance processes in relationships. What
reasons does Miller give for why we should take account of such processes (there are 3
reasons)?
Rewards and costs have different, separate effects on our well-being in relationships and this causes complexity. We try
to do 2 things in relationships: (1) Obtain rewards and (2) avoid costs. These are not the same things. Approach
motivation = in seeking rewards, we try to satisfy appetite for desirable experiences pursue pleasure and
our motivation for doing something is to feel good; when we approach desired experiences, we feel positive emotions
such as enthusiasm and excitement. Approach motivations for having sex: feel close to partners and enjoy physical
experience. Avoidance motivation = desire to avoid costs we seek to elude/escape punishment and pain, so we
strive to avoid undesired experiences and to reduce negative feelings such as anxiety and fear. Avoidance motivations
, for having sex: avoid rejection or end a peevish partner’s pouting. Key point: Our approach and avoidance motivations
are not just 2 different sides of same coin. They don’t cancel each other out. Pleasure results from fulfilling our
approach goals, and pain results from failing to fulfil our avoidance goals, but pleasure and pain are different processes.
They operate independently, involving different brain mechanisms and causing distinct emotions and behaviours.
Provocative result is that pleasure and pain can coexist, or both may be absent, in any relationship. Because pleasure
and pain are unrelated, safe and secure relationships in which nothing bad happens are not necessarily satisfying, and
satisfying relationships are not always safe and secure. Current relationship status is defined by how well you are
fulfilling both your approach and avoidance goals. Three reasons why we should take account of such
processes:
1. There are 4 different types of relationships (zie figuur 6.3 blz. 189):
1. Flourishing: able to fulfil approach and avoidance motivations at the same time many delights, few costs.
2. Distressed: neither motivation is being fulfilled few rewards, many costs.
3. Precarious: approach goals are fulfilled but avoidance goals are thwarted many delights, many
dangers/costs.
4. Boring: avoidance goals are fulfilled but approach goals are thwarted few costs (safe), few rewards (dull).
Boredom now is linked to dissatisfaction later.
2. Chronic strength of people’s motives differ. Bad is stronger than good, but some people are very sensitive
to negative events that wouldn’t much ruffle others – and such people feel especially threatened by
disagreements or conflict with partners. People who have high approach motivations are generally less lonely
and more content. There’s more long-term profit in focusing on obtaining rewards rather than cutting costs in
our close relationships.
3. Independent operation of approach and avoidance motivations means that being happy may
involve different strategies than those that are involved in not being unhappy. We want to avoid
painful conflict and other costs, but if we wish our relationships to prosper and be fulfilling, we need to do more
than avoid any unpleasantries. We need to combat boredom: We must strive to meet our partners’ approach
goals by providing them positive experiences. This conclusion is also at heart of self-expansion model of
human motivation.
6. What, according to Miller, are the personality/individual factors and cultural factors that
may influence CL an CLalt and, as a result, negatively impact on relationship satisfaction/
happiness.
- A person’s CLalt is what he/she thinks it is. Variety of factors can influence people’s perceptions of their alternatives,
like self-esteem. When people don’t like themselves, they doubt their desirability and underestimate their prospects
with other partners. Access to information affects one’s CLalt, too. Stay-at-home parent has lower CLalt than someone
who works in large city every day. Desirable alternatives will only enhance your CLalt if you are aware of them. If you’re
content with current partners, you may not pay much attention to other people. People who are satisfied with their
existing partnerships are relatively uninterested in looking around to see how they could be doing elsewhere. As a result
they think they have lower CLalts than those who pay more attention to alternatives. This may be important. Students
who keep track of their options and monitor their alternatives with care switch romantic partners more often than do
those who pay their alternatives less heed. These results mean that although interdependence theory treats satisfaction
and dependence as relatively independent influences on relationships, they are actually correlated. If you’re happy with
current partner you’re less likely to notice that grass may be greener in other relationships.
- Because they are based on our experiences, our CLs tend to fluctuate along with outcomes we receive. When we first
encounter excellent outcomes, we’re delighted, but our pleasure may slowly dwindle as we come to take such benefits
for granted and our CLs rise. In this manner, rewarding relationships can gradually become less and less satisfying even
though nothing (but our expectations/our CLs) has changed.
- Worse, since you were born, social influences have caused our expectations (CLs) to creep up and up. We now often
want our romances to be magical rather than merely pleasant, and deeply fulfilling instead of just fine, and it’s hard to
be happy when we expect so much. American marriages are less happy than 30 years ago and our higher CLs may
partly be responsible for that.
- Cultural changes have also increased our CLalts. Women’s increased participation in workforce has provided them both
interesting co-workers and financial resources that make it easier for them to leave unhappy relationships. People are
more mobile than ever before, so their options are more diverse. And even if we stay home in one place, a vast array of
alternative partners is available online. Moreover, legal, religious, and social barriers against divorce have gradually
eroded, so the costs of departing a marriage have declined even as many people have found more options and more
partners available to them. We have entered era of “permanent availability” in which people remain on the marriage
market – continuing to size up the people they meet as potential future mate – even after they’re married. No surprise
that US divorce rate has risen sharply since 1960; when CLs and CLalts are both high, people are more likely to find
themselves in unhappy and unstable relationships (zie ook weer figuur 6.1).
7. What are the gender differences in the evaluation of relationship rewards?
Partners may disagree about the meaning and value of rewards they exchange. Judgments of what favors are worth
routinely differ for those who provide the favors and those who receive them, and gender differences complicate things
further. Wives desire more emotion and affection from their husbands whereas husbands want more sex. What matters
to you may not be the same as what matters to your partner and those differing perceptions make your quest for
mutually satisfying interaction complicated.
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