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College aantekeningen

Class notes IELTS_ERROR CORRECTION

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This document will help students understand how to use this knowledge in writing essays. This is suitable for students who want to have useful document for reviewing before taking the exams.

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  • 9 april 2023
  • 5
  • 2022/2023
  • College aantekeningen
  • Mr.tho
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ERROR CORRECTION: ALL ERRORS (6.5)

TASK: THE FOLLOWING ESSAYS CONTAIN DIFFERENT TYPES OF ERRORS. IDENTIFY
AND CORRECT THEM.


Essay 1:
It considered a common belief that there are some qualities to
distinguish between man and woman, which is become a disparity
in some certain jobs. While I think occupational opportunity
depend on gender was reasonable in some way, I am disagree
with the view that woman can't do jobs deem suitable for man.

On the one hand, it is true that man and woman has different
qualities to a certain extent. The main argument that men are
biologically different from women, both physically and mentally
man. As a result, men and women have their characteristics and
express them not only by appearance but also on thoughts,
actions, etc. To give a clear example, in ancient times, one of the
most remarkable ability of men is their strength so they have
capable of protecting the family and hunting for food, which is
become the main supply and the responsibility for them. Woman
is weaker than man so they need to protect but they have had
talent on managing and caring for the family, which is become the
main roles of woman but they aren’t treated appropriately as what
they deserved. Nowadays, there are some certain jobs that
woman can’t do such as worker in special environment and high
intensity of work because of their limitation on strength

On the other hand, I disagree with the sexist on recruitment,
which caused to the unfairness on occupational opportunity

, because of several reasons. Firstly, women had many
disadvantages in developing their careers in compared with man.
These disadvantages are usually health, work efficiency,
pregnancy. As a result, before choosing a the best candidate for
the job, recruiters usually prefer men to women. Secondly,
although women have many advantages to men in certain jobs,
they do not have enough respect for their sacrifice and devotion,
which they deserved. For example, there is a common saying:
“men make houses, women make homes”, but in fact, women do
not only have disadvantages when they have to spend time to do
most of the housework but also have to suffer from domestic
violence, which is very common in southern countries.

In conclusion, while I support the view that men and women has
different qualities, I disagree that women can’t do certain jobs are
suitable to for man.


Essay 2:
The table illustrated the percentage of poor people residing in
different kinds of family in Australia in the year 1999.

It could be seen that people with children are more likely to be
struggle financially than those without, and the proportion of
impoverished single people impoverished are higher than the
figure of poor couples are. In addition, the levels of poverty for the
old are were the lowest figures.

The percentage of people living in poverty accounts for 11% of
total population. 21% of sole parents are classified as poor, which
is the highest figure among all poor poverty-stricken families,

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