Exam (elaborations)

High quality LSE history essay - how to get to a first

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London School Of Economics (LSE)

Document contains an exemplar HY113 essay with department marksheet and professor's review. The essay focuses on analysis of key actors in Indian independence and was rewarded a 69. As mentioned in the marking, better citation formatting would have pushed it up to a first. Improve your chances of a...

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Uploaded on September 20, 2024
Number of pages 6
Written in 2023/2024
Type Exam (elaborations)
Contains Questions & answers

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HY113 Exam pack on India, pre-written essay and synthesised timeline

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1. Lecture notes - Complete indian history timeline for hy113 exam
2. Exam (elaborations) - High quality lse history essay - how to get to a first
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DEPARTMENT OF INTERNATIONAL HISTORY
Feedback on Assessed (Summative) Essay

STUDENT ……………………. COURSE HY113
TEACHER ……….. CLASS GROUP \
TOPIC

Focus & Range

Unsatisfactory The discussion stays focused on the discussion except for some of the
preamble at the start of each section, which does not contribute to the
Satisfactory answer

Good x
Excellent use of detailed content to support the discussion
Excellent x

Structure & Coherence

Unsatisfactory Essay outline could be clearer, to explain the division of content.

Satisfactory x

Good

Excellent

Depth of Analysis & Quality of Arguments

Unsatisfactory x Intro
Attempts road map, though could be clearer. No summary of the debate
Satisfactory fault-lines in the historiography. Argument is presented, but it is vague and
could be stated more clearly (don’t be afraid to use ‘this essay argues’-see
Good x comments on the essay)

Main body
Excellent x
Some excellent points and analysis.
Uses an excellent range of specific detail to support the analytical
discussion, developing sophisticated arguments in each section
Conclusion Very good summary of the key arguments. However, this
could have gone even further by engaging the historiography.
Despite the excellent discussion and use of detailed content, the essay
is missing direct engagement with the historiography.

1

, Use of Sources & Historiography

Unsatisfactory X Content from the literature is effectively referenced to support the
discussion, but there is no direct engagement whatsoever with the
scholarship/historiography. What have others said/argued on this
Satisfactory question? Where does your argument lie within the existing debates?

Good x

Excellent

Expression & Presentation

Unsatisfactory Avoid the first person- see essay
Some phrasing issues throughout-check your tenses-see essay
Satisfactory X comments.

Good

Excellent

Suggestions for Improvement & Other Points

PROVISIONAL mark: 69% Signature:

2

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