Domestic Violence and
Abuse
Are you or someone you care about in an abusive
relationship? Here’s how to recognize the signs of domestic
abuse—physical, emotional, sexual, verbal, orfinancial—and
get help.
Related
Help
for
Men
Who
are Being Abused
(https://www.helpguide
for-men-who-are-
being-abused.htm)
How to
Get
What is domestic violence and Out of
an
abuse? Abusive Relationship
When people think of domestic abuse, they often focus on (https://www.helpguide
domestic violence. But domestic abuse includes any attempt by out-of-an-abusive-
one person in a marriage or intimate relationship to dominate and relationship.htm)
control the other. Domestic violence and abuse are used for one
purpose and one purpose only: to gain and maintain total control
over you. An abuser doesn’t
Recovering from
Rape and Sexual
,“play fair.” An abuser uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to Trauma
wear you down and keep you under theirthumb. (https://www.helpguide
trauma/recovering- from-
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone; it doesnot rape-and-sexual-
discriminate. Abuse happens within heterosexual relationships and trauma.htm)
in same-sex partnerships. It occurs withinall age ranges, ethnic
backgrounds, and economic levels.
Elder
And while women are more often victimized, men also experience
Abuse
abuse (https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-
and
who-are-being-abused.htm)—especially verbal and emotional. The
Neglect
bottom line is that abusive behavior is neveracceptable, whether
(https://www.helpguide
from a man, woman, teenager, or an older adult. You deserve to
abuse-and- neglect.htm)
feel valued, respected, and safe.
[Read: Help for Men who are Being Abused]
(https://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/help-for-men-who-
are-being-abused.htm)
Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal assault to
violence. And while physical injury may pose themost obvious
danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic
abuse are also severe.
Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self- worth,
lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and
alone. No one should have to endure this kindof pain—and your
first step to breaking free is recognizing that your relationship is
abusive.
Signs of an abusive relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship, and a fear of your
partner is the most telling. If you feel like you have towalk on
eggshells around them—constantly watching what you say and do
in order to avoid a blow-up—chances are your relationship is
unhealthy and abusive.
Other signs include a partner who belittles you or tries tocontrol
you, and having feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and
desperation.
,To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answerthe
questions below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that
you’re in an abusive relationship.
Are you in an abusive relationship?Your
inner thoughts and feelings
Do you:
• feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your
partner?
• feel that you can’t do anything right for your
partner?
• believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
• wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
• feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Your partner’s belittling behavior
Does your partner:
• humiliate or yell at you?
• criticize you and put you down?
• treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your
friends or family to see?
• ignore or put down your opinions or
accomplishments?
• blame you for their own abusive behavior?
• see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a
person?
Your partner’s violent behavior or threats
, Are you in an abusive relationship?
Does your partner:
• have a bad and unpredictable temper?
• hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
• threaten to take your children away or harm them?
• threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
• force you to have sex?
• destroy your belongings?
Your partner’s controlling behavior
Does your partner:
• act excessively jealous and possessive?
• control where you go or what you do?
• keep you from seeing your friends or family?
• limit your access to money, the Internet, phone, orcar?
• constantly check up on you?
Physical and sexual abuse
Physical abuse occurs when physical force is used against you in a
way that injures or endangers you. Physical assault or battering is a
crime, whether it occurs inside or outside ofa family. The police
have the power and authority to protect you from a physical attack.
Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted,
unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse
(https://www.helpguide.org/articles/ptsd- trauma/recovering-from-
rape-and-sexual-trauma.htm). Forced sex, even by a spouse or
intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act
of aggression and
