A different world
In “We should all be feminists” (Ted.com, 2012), novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie gives a Ted
Talk to explain why everyone should be feminist. Boys and girls should be raised differently, for a
different world where boys and girls do not have to carry the constant weight of gender expectations,
and everyone can be their true selves.
Firstly, boys and girls should be raised differently. According to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie,
“Humanity has changed, but our ideas of gender have not” (Adichie, 2012). Girls and boys are
different biologically. However, these differences are made larger by society. Boys are taught that they
cannot have fear, and cannot be weak. Therefore, boys have to mask their personality to always appear
masculine. On the other hand, girls are raised to be each other’s competitors, and to care for men.
“Girls are taught that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.” (Adichie, 2012). For
instance, a girl’s virginity is praised, while a boy’s virginity is not. Children should be raised in a more
equal way. When raising children, the focus should be on ability and interest, rather than gender.
Boys and girls are carrying the constant weight of gender expectations. Society teaches us that men are
more important than women. Women are afraid to not be taken seriously if they look “too feminine”,
while a man would never have to worry about looking “too masculine”. Girls are taught shame.
Adichie suggests that, by being born as a girl, you already feel guilty of something (Adichie, 2012).
Therefore, girls grow up to be women that are ashamed of their desires, and silence themselves. A
successful woman is not the standard, which makes women feel insecure to share their success,
because they might appear as a threat to men. As a result of gender expectations, girls are ashamed of
themselves, and boys feel the need to be masculine or feel threatened by successful women.
If children would be raised differently, they will grow up to be their true selves. The issue with gender
is that people are taught who they should be, instead of who they actually are. If children were raised
in a way to find out what they like for themselves, instead of society telling them what they should
like, based on gender expectations, everyone could be their true self. Adichie gives the example of
cooking. Girls have been socialized to see cooking as their job. However, cooking is a useful skill for
everyone. It would be fairer to teach boys how to feed themselves, instead of having to rely on women
for it. By teaching boys and girls the same skills, instead of imposing gender expectations on them,
children would grow up to be their true selves, not who society wants them to be.
By raising boys and girls differently, giving them equal chances, and focusing on ability and interest
instead of gender, the world would look significantly different. Women would not have to be ashamed
of themselves. Men would not have to feel the need to be masculine all the time. Nobody would have
to mask their true personality all the time, and carry the constant weight of gender expectations. In
conclusion, this world would be much freer and men and women would be happier.