Here are all my notes of the lectures of the course Development of Primary Relationships. This document contains the pictures from the slides and has 'take home messages' at the end. I completed this course with a 8.5 :)
Theme 1 – Definitions & Theories
Health and well-being
Definition of primary relationship
A relationship that exists to the extent that two people exert strong, frequent, and diverse effects on
one another over an extended period of time
Different definitions have common aspects
- Interdependence
- Need fulfilment
- Emotional effects
Primary relationships are important for mental and physical health. Social relationships of less quality
- Die early
- More illnesses (like cancer and cardiovascular diseases)
- Health conditions (like high blood pressure)
- Poor immune system, slower healing
Marriage associated with health advantages
- Effect of loss and marriage
- People who haven’t divorced, show better health
- No effect of long-time marriage or multiple divorces
- Unhappy marriage can also lead to worse health
Past vs. present
- Research from ‘70’s: men benefit, women more depressed
- Recent findings: men more externalizing (alcohol), women more internalizing
- In general: marriage has benefits
Explanation of how a divorce causes negative effects on health
- Social selection hypothesis: mental health problems cause marriage breakdown
- Social causation hypothesis: marriage breakdown causes mental health problems
Both hypotheses likely true; not for widowhood
New relationships and health
More central in the network leads to
- Happier, less stress, better mental health
- More illnesses, more risk behaviour, worse physical health
Primary relationships are important for health, but when searching for social status and
acceptance this cause more risk behaviour
Determinants of relationships
Most important factor of relationship determining: proximity
- Physical distance: number of meters apart from someone
- Functional distance: the likelihood that you will interact (common friends)
1
, - True for youth and elderly
- True for friendships and romantic love
- Also true for quality of relationships
Diminishing of the proximity due to the internet not for forming relationships
Similarity
- Bird of a feather flock together
- Friend/partners similar in:
- Demographics
- Attitudes and values
- Personality
- Popularity
- Physical attracting: matching hypothesis: people have relationships with others who
are about as attractive as they are
- Antisocial behaviour and depression
True for partners and friends
Complementarity
- Opposites attract? research says no, people look for similarities
- Little support
- Only in case of dominance/submission
Attractiveness
Physical attraction is an important factor of how much we like someone
- Beauty facilitates social life
- Halo effect: what is beautiful is good
- Attractive children/adults are judged and treated more positively than unattractive
counterparts
- Exception: extremely attractive people are judged as vein and self-centred
Reciprocal liking
We like people who express a liking for us
- Self-fulfilling prophecy: transforming belief into actual reality
Thinking somebody like you treat them better another person will actually like you
more
- Complex effect: the people we like most are those we initially dislikes
Competence
We prefer people who are socially skilled, intelligent, and competent
- What is beautiful is good ‘what is good, is perceives as beautiful’
Theories of attraction
Reinforcement theory: people behave in ways that are rewarding and desist from behaviour with
adverse consequences
2
, - Social exchange theory
- Economic model
- Maximise rewards and minimise costs
- The most satisfying and long-lasting relationships are those that involve the greatest
rewards/lowest costs
Limitations
- Humans are not rational we don’t classify everything in reward or cost
- We not only weigh the present, but also past and future rewards and costs
- ‘Honeymoon period’ (start of a relationship): costs don’t weight that much
- Alternative relationships not considered created interdependence theory
- Interdependence theory
- Two cost-benefit analyses
- Comparison level: rewards we deserve (based social norms and personal
expectations) compared to what we get
- Comparison level for alternatives: rewards and costs available from other
relationships, compared to what we get
- Equity theory: people consider a relationship to be fair if what they gain from a relationship
reflects what they put in
- Equity versus quality
Limitations:
- Relevant for high exchange orientation relationships, like school or work
- Less relevant for low exchange orientation relationships, like family-relationships – not
keeping score
Evolutionary theory: behaviour evolved to maximize the likelihood that individuals can pass on their
genes to next generations. Applies to romantic heterosexual relationships
- Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
- Beauty as a sign of health
- Average and symmetry are attractive
- Parental investment theory: men and women differ in their parenting and will thus use
different criteria for choosing a partner
- Men are attracted to young and beautiful women (health and fertility)
- Women are attracted to men with high status
- Explanation of differences between men and women in feeling jealousy
- Women are more often jealous of people who are attractive
- Men are often jealous of people who are successful and have high status
- Explanation of experiences feelings of love
- Help people stay together and committed to each other needed to give offspring
the best tart
Limitations
- Mostly student samples
- Historical/cultural differences in partner selection
3
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