Lecture 1 - Introduction | Chapter 1
Three perspectives on sexuality
• Biological
→ We all have a body
• Social and cultural
→ We all grow up in a cultural and social setting
• Psychological
• Stable
→ Remains same most of the time (personality, learned associations & attitudes)
• Fluctuating / transitory
→ Can change from moment to moment (mood, cognitive distraction)
Applied Clinical
→ A sexual relationship can go wrong and cause certain mental issues
Sex- computer metaphor
• Hardware → Biology
• Operating → evolution
• Software → social environment and culture
• Helpdesk → Sexologist
Different associations with the word sex
→ Love, intimacy are the top runners, followed by pleasure and fun, and then after a wider gap
with passion, gender, intercourse, reproduction and orgasm
Positive associations
• At age 25, 81% of dutch youngsters has had a sexual experience (with 90% of the young
women and 94% of the young men enjoying it)
What is sex?
• Wikipedia:
Human sexual activity, human sexual practice or human sexual behavior is the manner in
which humans experience and express their sexuality
• Oxford dictionary:
Sex = Sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse. Sexuality = Sexual activity
• YourDictionary:
Sex = Any function or behavior involved with reproduction
• Go Ask Alice:
Sex = The birds and the bees. Getting it on
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,Definition of Sex(uality)
Sexuality is about all sensory perceptions, emotions and cognitions that someone associated with
physical sexual arousal, and that leads to sexual desire and / or behavior
How do people have sex?
• Not at all:
• Asexuality (no sexual desire at all)
• 1% of the population
• Sexual orientation
• Masturbation for instance only directed at non-sexual goals
• Sex only to e.g. please partner
• Voluntary celibacy (complete or partial)
• Wait till marriage
• Wait until they are in a stable relationship
• Involuntary celibacy
• Partner is in military and not physically present
• Physical disability
• Psychological disorder
• Partner has no desire for sex anymore but you do
• Incel: exclusively male, want to have sex but cannot find a sex partner, misogynistic,
not rarely act out in aggressive behaviors, feel entitled to have sex
• Solitary sexual behaviors:
• Sexual fantasy → any mental picture that comes to mind when you’re awake and that
ultimately turns you on
• Sensual masturbation fantasy (Freud): masturbate on something over and over again
• Freud also hypothesized that only unhappy people fantasize = wrong!
• Most common:
• Multipartner sex
• BDSM: bondage, discipline, submission, sadism, and masochism
• Novelty, adventure and variety
• Men more likely to have fantasies about group sex
• Women slightly more likely to have fantasies containing romance
• BUT gender differences are very small / might also be simply of cultural nature
• Masturbation
•Masturbation more common in
men
•Also more common in higher
educated folks
• Partnered sexual behaviors
• Sex is only sex if all partners consent. No consent = sexual assault or rape
• Kissing
• Seen especially in western culture (most highly respected form of sexual display)
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, • Some tribes see it as disgusting
• Touching (tribadism)
• Tribadism: rubbing genitals against one another
• Oral sex (fellatio/cunnilingus)
• More popular among younger people
• Not universal = some cultures consider it as unclean
• Anal sex (intercourse or anilingus)
• Often associated with gay men even though they rely more heavily on mutual
masturbation and oral sex
• Vaginal intercourse (coitus)
• Amazon or Coital Alignemt position = most likely orgasm for woman
How do people have coitus?
• Four/Five basic positions (most popular, best known)
→ Missionary, cowgirl, CAT, doggystyle, spooning
• There is more, but is that considered sex as well?
• (US) Baseball metaphor → Base 1 (kissing), Base 2 (touching above waist), Base 3 (touching
below the waist), Base 4 (sex)
How do heterosexual people define having sex?
• Sex is more often defined as sex when it involves penile penetration (e.g. anal intercourse,
penile-vaginal intercourse)
• Dutch College students already define e.g. mutual stimulation or oral stimulation as sex while
US students mostly define the actual “intercourse” as sex
How do homosexual people define having sex?
• Homosexual men mostly define sex as actions including penile and/or oral stimulation
• Homosexual women define sex more widely, e.g. including manual genital stimulation
Former Beliefs about sex
For centuries the idea has been that sex is:
• Hetero sexual penis-vagina coitus
• An act in which the man has an orgasm (and the woman does not)
• Within a monogamous relationship (preferably marriage)
• With the aim of reproduction
What is sex?
• According to Queen Victoria (1819-1901) → An act in which the woman should just lie back and
think of England = Nothing pleasurable, just something that has to be done
• Bill Clinton claimed to not have had sex with Monica Lewinsky because he “just” received a
blowjob
→ If that statement is truthful depends on the definition of sex and which action is set as “cut-
off” point
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,Theories (Book)
Cognitive-Behavioral & Learning Theory
• Behavior is learned through experience
• Classical Conditioning
• Operant conditioning
→ Often used in conversion therapy
• Social learning
Exchange Theories
• Relationships are based on the exchange of goods between partners
• When these exchanges result in high profits and low losses, it’s more likely that the
relationship will be maintained
• female sexuality has more value than male sexuality because
• There are more men who are interested in sex at that moment than women
• Women also tend to be less interested in casual sex
• Female sexuality is in limited supply (reflected in prostitution)
• “Sex is aced upon in a heterosexual social exchange, the women is more inclined to
offer it than the man”
• Major limitation: Not all relations are based on cost-benefit ration and there is not room
for altruism here
Personality Theories
• Deals with the relatively stable intrapsychic factors that generate consistent patterns of
behavior
• Big five
• High openness → lower sexual anxiety
• Low conscientiousness → unprotected sex and combining alcohol and drugs with sex
• Low agreeableness → casual sex and combining alcohol and drugs with sex
• High and low levels of interpersonal warmth → many sexual partners
• High extraversion → more sexual partners and sexual risk taking
• Distinction between Erotophilia and Erotophobia
• Erotophilia → Tendency to experience strong positive emotions and attitudes towards
sex
• Erotophobia → Tendency to experience strong negative emotions and attitudes
towards sex
• Sensation seeking
• Tends to involve exciting and risky activities
• Sensitivity to dopamine is important
• High score: more sexual risks, more sexual partners, more unsafe sex
• Sociosexuality
• Willingness to have sex without commitment or emotional connection with the sex
partner
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, • Restrictive sociosexuality → people need a connection with the partner during sex and
more likely seek long term relationships
• Men are more unrestrictive and women are more restrictive
Evolutionary Theory
• People tend to produce as many offspring as possible
• To help us with this goal, we have gradually developed preferences for certain physical
and psychological characteristics which increase the chance of successful
reproduction
• Can often be unconscious signs which prove that a person is healthy
• men and women have different approaches towards reproduction
• Men → the more the merrier (kids and partners)
• Women → less, and rather have a reliable partner which increases the chances for the
offspring to survive
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, Lecture 2 - Views on Sexuality | Chapter 1 & 2
Why humans have sex
• Procreation: Sex for reproduction
• Sex is heterosexual coitus, aimed at passing on genes
• Recreation: Sex is for pleasure
• Sex is any behavior - solo or with partner - focused on satisfying sexual desire
• Relation: Sex to confirm an intimate relationship
• Sex is any behavior with a partner focused on creating or strengthening an emotional bond
• Scare research: 2007 study found 237 reasons
The differences for men and women are small
• Slight differences indicate:
• Men: Slightly (!) more directed towards the physical arousal part
• Women: Slightly (!) more directed towards the emotional component
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