Interpersonal Relationships
Lecture 1 – 7/11/2022
Relationships and well-being
Berkman & Syme study; 18 – 80 years old were asked the level of social integration.
- The chances of dying from any cause were much higher for people with a low level of
integration compared to people with a high level of integration, for both men and women.
Cohen et al. study; relationships support the immune system (Rhino virus), the higher the level of
social integration the lower the chances of actually becoming sick from the virus.
- Lacking social relationships is almost as unhealthy as smoking a pack of cigarettes a day.
Why is social integration associated with both physical and psychological well-being?
- Social support is very crucial for our well-being.
- Emotional support; psychologically rely on others, instrumental support; practical things
other people do for you. These are strongly correlated and often confounded.
- Support needs to be calibrated to the needs of the receiver, needs to be helpful for the
receiver.
Why and how does social support affect our well-being?
1. Cohen & Wils (1985); direct effect-hypothesis/main effect hypothesis -> social support
makes people take better care of themselves due to social influence/norms.
People who perceive more support in their environment experience more positive
affect trough their lives.
2. Stress-buffering hypothesis; social support does not directly affect our health, but depends
on the circumstances. Only when we experience a lot of stress, social support reduces the
stress and thus influence our well-being.
Red cross or blue circle on the screen; each time the red cross appeared the chance
was 70% of receiving a shock (increase in stress).
3 conditions; holding hand of romantic partner, no hand holding, holding hand of a
stranger while anticipating the shock. -> when the partner was holding the hand,
there was less stress-related activity in the brain when seeing the red cross.
This effect grew the more satisfied the women were with their relationships.
,The Need to Belong; people have a fundamental need to belong to others.
- Baumeister & Leary, 1995; humans have an evolved need to belong to others and be a part
of relationships and groups, this is just as critical to survival as need for food and water.
Supporting the need to belong hypothesis;
1. Changes in belongingness evoke strong effects; inclusions/social integration causes healthy
and happy outcomes, exclusions/loneliness causes unhealthy and unhappy outcomes.
Four needs are being threatened when you are excluded; need-threat model causes
immediate reactions. -> lower sense of belonging, loss of control, lower sense of
meaningfulness, lower self-esteem (sociometer theory).
Brain activity that you see when excluded is similar to brain activity of physical pain.
2. We initiate social interactions/social relationships very easily, seems to be innate.
Universal; all humans generally form relationships with others.
Minimal group research/minimal group paradigm; people almost immediately start
to identify with their group once a group is formed.
Mere proximity leads to relationships.
Attachment from the day you are born.
There is an innate focus on other people; face perceptual system.
Pain overlap theory; similar neural systems involved in both social and physical pain.
- Sensitivity to both social and physical pain is linked by a common gene.
- Both social and physical pain lead to loss of control, lowered self-esteem, aggression etc.
- Can we treat social pain with physical painkillers?
Significant reduction across the 20 days in terms of the level of hurts pain, so
painkillers might kill the social pain. In the brain scan, the effects of social pain in the
brain were dampened as compared to the effects in the placebo.
Also an important distinction between social and physical pain;
- Social pain is long-term pain and has longer lasting effects than physical pain.
- The relived pain in social pain is much higher as compared to the physical pain, while the
initial pain is the same.
Is there a relationship between social exclusion and aggression?
- In a lot of studies, social exclusion leads to aggression.
- The role of control and existence plays a role in this; by showing aggression you can regain a
sense of control and the feeling that other people see you, so getting back a bit of
meaningfulness.
- When given an opportunity for reconnection, then people start to behave in a more
prosocial manner.
, Book Chapter 1 & 2
Intimate relationships differ from more casual relationships in at least seven ways;
1. Knowledge; intimate partners have extensive personal, confidential knowledge about each
other.
2. Interdependence; the extent to which partners influence each other is frequent, strong,
diverse, and enduring.
3. Care; partners feel more affection for each other than they do for most others.
4. Trust; they expect to be treated fairly and honourably.
5. Responsive; the perception that our partners recognize, understand, and support our needs
and wishes and respond to them.
6. Mutuality; partners see themselves as an “us” and recognize their close connection.
7. Commitment; partners expect their partnership to continue indefinitely and they invest
time, effort and resources to realize that goal.
There are different types of “building blocks” that relationships:
Influences on the norm that govern intimate relationships;
1. Economics; education and financial resources allow people to be more independent.
2. Individualism; support of self-expression and emphasis on personal fulfilment, has become
more pronounced.
3. Technology; anti-conception and modern communication technologies
Technoference – the frequent interruptions of interaction that are caused by
technological devices.
Phubbing – when one partner snubs another by focusing on a phone.
4. Sex ration; different standards for regions where there are more men. Regions with a high
sex ratio (more men than women) have more traditional, old-fashioned gender-roles.
The influence of individuals differences;
1. Sex differences; sex differences in intimate relationships tend to be less noteworthy and
influential than people think. Biological distinctions between men and women that spring
naturally from their physical natures.
2. Gender differences; social and psychological distinction that are created by our cultures and
upbringing.
Gender roles; the patterns of behaviour that are culturally expected of normal men
and women.
Instrumental traits are masculine task-oriented talents and expressive traits are
feminine social and emotional skills.
Both set of traits are valuable, and the happiest people possess both sets of skills.
3. Personality; extraverted, agreeable, and conscientious people who are open to new
experiences have happier relationships. The less neurotic partner are, the happier their
marriages are.
4. Self-esteem; self-evaluation seem to be much affected by what we think others think of us.
Relations are more fulfilling for both partners when they have higher self-esteem.
Sociometer theory; self-esteem is an evolved mechanism that serves as a sign of
exclusion that might precede rejection of other. If we don’t interest other, our self-
esteem is low.
Eventually, relationships result from combinations of their participant’s histories and talents and are
the sum of their parts. They are fluid processes that can change.
