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MGG2601 EXAM PACK 2023
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MGG2601EXAM PACK
2023
QUESTIONS WITH ANSWERS
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,MGG201W – Marriage Guidance – facilitative couples counselling
Theme ONE – Understanding couples
Intimacy involves: love, affection and caring, deep attachment to another person.
The TRIPOD of couple relationships
An intimate relationship consists of three factors that form a tripod on which the
relationship rests.
1. Passionate attraction (PA)
2. Mutual expectations (ME)
3. Personal intentions (PI)
Passionate attractions (PA)
→ Individual experiences intensely pleasurable sensations when thinking about
or being with a new partner.
→ Blushing, trembling, breathlessness, high sexual desire
→ Referred to as infatuation = passing love “a foolish and unreasoning
love’
→ Infatuation is not a realistic / accurate appraisal of the relationship /
idealisation
→ Negative / flaws in the idealised beloved may be intellectually recognised, but
disregarded as endearingly special. Person chooses to ignore the negatives
→ Normal phase in the process of relationships
→ Infatuation can lead to a lasting relationship – but it mostly fades away and
relationship based on infatuation alone will fail.
Love
→ Involves physical attraction - deeper
→ Love encompasses PA, ME and PI
→ People rely mostly on life experiences to guide them to their own unique way
of demonstrating love.
→ Eric Fromm “love is active concern for the life and growth of the person we
love”
→ Love is deep, unselfish, caring, deep respect
Hauck’s basic principles about love
It is not just the person you love, but rather what he/she does for you -
actions speak louder than verbal promises of love and devotion.
Just like any business relationship, you have to invest in the relationship so as
to benefit from its rewards - love requires a reciprocal investment from both
parties
Love is like a business partnership – it needs management - rules to ensure it
remains mutually satisfying
The goal in the relationship is to be reasonably content.
Mutual Expectations (ME)
→ Passionate attractions create a group of mutual expectations.
→ People are surrounded by their own personal worlds of meaning and if they
want their relationship to survive, they have to explicitly state what they
, want and need. If they do not do this, their relationship will not progress
beyond the passionate attraction stage.
Myths: common expectations
→ A partner should demonstrate sympathy to the person whenever he/ she is
upset
→ A partner should always be willing to express innermost thoughts and
feelings at all times
→ A partner should be loyal by automatically siding with the person when
they’ve been in an argument with others.
→ A partner should always want do to things with the person, devoting time and
attention to the relationship
→ A partner should choose the person above all others at all times.
→ A partner should allow the person to continue to take part in all the activities
that he/she was involved in before the relationship began.
Introjected expectations bought from family of origin, society and media are
unrealistic myths.
Expectations about roles and responsibilities
→ Traditionally- culture defined, prescribed and allocated non-negotiable rules
and duties, often according to gender.
→ Today – more egalitarian relationships exist.
Expectations about life events
Personal Intentions (PI)
→ The converse of expectations
→ Individuals decisions – both deliberate and unconscious, about how he/she
should behave as a loving partner
→ Consider the way your partner wants to be loved
Individual differences and their impact on the couple relationship
Couples enter a relationship with a set of expectations based largely on their past
experiences, and further determined by gender and ethnic differences.
Gender Differences
Similarities
→ Both have fundamental needs of self-esteem, survival, intimacy and growth
→ Both need the sense of having some control over their lives
→ Both need to achieve, and have recreation
→ The ways in which they translate or express those needs and attempt to full
them differs
Physiological differences
→ Socialisation exaggerates gender differences even further
→ Conflict situations – woman self-soothe and males become more aroused and
aggressive (testosterone)
→ When in a negative relationship, men withdraw and women become more
demanding and complaining.
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