Summary DPR book
1 The roots of the relationship
A relationship exists to the extent that two people exert strong, frequent and diverse effects on one another
over an extended period of time.
Positive
- Source of life satisfaction and well-being
- Contributing to good mental and physical health and longevity
Negative
- Poor relationships can cause enormous stress
- Lack of relationships is source of loneliness and isolation
Most relationships include following three aspects:
- Interdependence
- Need fulfillment
- Emotional attachment
Although we may think of relationships as based on emotions and feelings, in fact they are things we do.
The study of relationships within psychology
Freud’s theory: the role of parent-child relationships in personality development
Developmental psychology: how personality is shaped y a person’s attachment history.
Social psychology: how people influence and are influenced by others, e.g. social facilitation; social loafing;
conformity, obedience
Personality theories: Big Five theory (extroversion and agreeableness)
Cognitive psychology: How babies are prewired to have cognitive abilities that facilitate the formation of
relationships, e.g. ability to visually track a human face virtually from birth; language acquisition
Health psychology: recognition that any comprehensive intervention involving physical and mental health
must take account of people’s relationships
First only studies of attraction, rather narrow field. Influence of good looks, similarity, proximity, etc. Mostly
laboratory studies. Lots of limitations.
Researchers later began to investigate link between relationships and many areas of well-being.
Interpersonal relationship research looks into positive and negative elements and the course; satisfaction and
dissatisfaction. Effect of relationships on physical and mental health.
Reinforcement theory
- People behave in a way that is rewarding to them
- Initiate and remain relationships with positive outcomes (remain balance, otherwise relationship
unlikely to survive)
- Basis of Social exchange theory, interdependence theory, equity theory
Evolutionary psychology
- Behaviour is influenced by evolved biological mechanisms
- Humans are social animals because group living enhances chances of survival and reproduction
- Humans have the need to form relationships
Attachment theory
- Not only biological tendencies but also the influence that our early experience of relationships has on
our capacity to engage in satisfying relationships later in life
- The caregiver-infant relationship profoundly affects what a child comes to expect in terms of support,
empathy, trustworthiness
Affiliation, attachment, and the need for social contact
Key to our success, without impressive physical abilities etc, is our human sociality.
,Many of the abilities that enable us to adapt depend on cooperation and collective knowledge.
Social groups
- Defend people against environmental hazard, predators, hostile outsiders
- Information and tasks can be shared so that actions can be coordinated to the advantage of the whole
group
- Most tasks more easily completed when doing it together
Evolutionary pressures led us to live in close proximity to other people for purposes of protection and to form
groups that help solve the problems involved in survival and reproduction.
Natural selection produced a strong motive for affiliation as part of the human psyche.
Affiliation: Seeking the company of others and interacting with them in a positive manner.
The need to belong
Belongingness hypothesis
- Humans need to form and maintain strong, stable interpersonal relationships and this need is a
powerful, fundamental and extremely pervasive motivation
- Both need to affiliate, and to form and maintain positive, lasting, significant interpersonal
relationships
- This need can be satisfied with frequent interaction with fasmiliar people combined with persistent
caring
- Human culture shaped by the necessity to provide belongingness
Consistent with the following human characteristics:
- Social groups and bonds formed in all cultures
- Babies have innate need to form attachments (with caregivers) very early in life
- Majority of human cognitive processing is devoted to abilities such as language and empathy
- Humans form into groups and show group allegiance even when there are no obvious benefits
- Strongest emotions people experience are concerned with human relationships: rejection, grief,
jealousy, depression, anxiety, loneliness, happiness, elation, contentment
- People affected by lack of attachment; in terms of well-being, adjustment, health. People who lack
belongingness have high levels of mental and physical illness.
The need to attach
First specific relationship that an infant makes is very important to later development.
Attachment: long-lasting, emotionally meaningful tie to a particular individual.
Theory of attachment (Bowbly)
- Children have a biological need to attach to one person
Baby possess a number of inborn behaviour patterns (clinging, smiling, crying) that serve to
bind the child to the caregiver
- Main attachment process begins around 7 months, before baby can crawl; unlikely to move too far
away from main caregiver; remaining safe
- Monotropy: Innate tendency to form an attachment to one specific individual. This is different from
all others and much stronger.
- Critical period (7 months to 3 years): most likely to form this attachment bond; if not formed, it’s
unlikely to form at all, and child will probably not form a permanent attachment to anyone
- Since first attachment serves as internal working model (basis of our expectations and rules regarding
relationships in alter life), consequences of not forming this crucial bond are liable to be very
damaging
Bowbly’s theory controversial:
- Schaffer & Emerson (1964): Attachment is not monotropic; children often form multiple attachments
with no single attachment being more important
Nevertheless, attachments re crucial in a young child’s life and that the nature of these attachments have long-
,term consequences
Stages of attachment
6 months
- Universally sociable (smile at anyone, don’t care who responds)
2-3 months
- Able to recognize particular faces, smile in response to familiar people (marked preferences)
7 months
- First strong attachment appears
- Infants exhibit ‘stranger anxiety’; become wary of unfamiliar people
- Once they become mobile, attachment behaviour includes moving towards, staying close, separation
protest, clinging, ‘secure base’
Additional attachments
- Others who they see consistently and have a mutually enjoyable time
- Tendency to form multiple attachments is biologically useful; reduces amount of distress caused to
infant if main caregiver should die very young
Attachment styles infants (Strange Situation)
Secure attachment (Type B)
- Explores freely when mother is present, uses her as secure base when stranger appears
- Shows distress when mother leaves
- Greet mother warmly when she returns
- Shows clear preference for mother over stranger
Resistant (anxious) attachment (Type C)
- Don’t explore with such confidence
- Remain closer to mother, signs of insecurity
- Become very distressed when she leaves
- When mother returns, they may cling to her but show ambivalent reactions such as hitting her while
still clinging
- Clearly angry and anxious
- Mother does not provide secure base
Avoidant attachment (type A)
- Show little to no concern when mother leaves or pleasure when she returns
- No indication of stranger anxiety
- Show little preference for mother over stranger, often avoiding both
Disorganized insecure attachment (type D)
- Show no pattern of behaviour when mother leaves or returns
- Abused children/have mothers who are depressed
Bowbly believes that all babies have a biological need for a warm, intimate and continuous relationship with
the mother. This need is as basic as need for food, warmth, etc.
Long term effects of attachment
Maternal deprivation
- Children who can’t satisfy this need
- When a child under 3 years old is deprived of the mother for a period of at least 3 months, or has a
number of changes in the mother figure
Internal working model
- The attachment type the child first develops; helps shape all intimate interpersonal relationships later
in life
Affectionless personality
- In very severe cases of deprivation, unable to make relationships as an adult, or have any feelings of
empathy and sympathy
- Superficially sociable but no real concern for others or capacity to care for others
- Own infants may find bonding difficult or impossible
, - It is only rarely, after repeated experiences of separation
Baby’s adaptiveness: The caregiving system
Infants are born with biological inheritance that makes them able to form social relationships with familiar
people, and to differentiate familiar people from strangers.
- Face recognition
Babies show significantly greater responses to face-like than to non-face-like stimuli (to 5
weeks old)
Born with some ideas of faceness
Robert Fantz: Preference for face-like patterns may play an important role in development of
behaviour
Humans have evolved a specialized face-processing module in the brain
- Differentiation between faces
More exposure to faces, babies focus on kinds of face they see most often and tune out other
types
- Empathic accuracy
Ability to perceive and understand another’s emotions
By 4 months: infants smile more at smiling than non-smiling faces
Degree of empathy increases as they get older, can easily interpret a tone of voice, facial
expressions
Ginsberg: ‘Empathy involves a biologically based, spontaneous communication process that
is fundamental to all living things’.
This ability allows people to coordinate their activities for mutual benefit and facilitates
bonding with others
- Communication
From birth, babies are ready and motivated to communicate
By 2 months: infants engage in complex, highly responsive interactions with main caregivers
(give-and-take exchanges, coos, gazes, smiles, sucks)
First 6 months: develop a growing awareness of characteristics of those people who are part
of their social world. These early interactions lay the foundation for the understanding of self
and others.
- Language
Babies well prepared for acquisition of language
Chomsky: Children are born with mental organ specially designed for acquisition of language
Infants have impressive prelinguistic skills: as early as the first days of life, newborn babies
regulate their behaviour to synchronize with the pattern of human speech, showing small but
consistent bodily movements in response to rhythmic sounds of normal speech (rudimentary
social interaction)
Speech evokes these synchronized body movements but environmental sounds or nonense
speech do not
From birth, newborns are responsive to regular patterns of meaningful speech, and can
differentiate between random noise and genuine social signals
- Characteristics that elicit caregiving behaviour
Infants possess characteristics that elicit caregiving behaviour in adults
Caregiving behaviour is triggered by infants’ immature features (large eyes, round cheeks,
short limbs).
Crying behaviour elicit adult attention and are extremely difficult to ignore
Affiliation
To associate or interact with other people. Natural selection has forged a strong motive for affiliation.
Motives
- To obtain positive stimulation
The desire to affiliate increases if people and/or situation are interesting and fun
People inherently enjoy company of others (positive experience)