Lecture 6a - sexual violence and consent
Part 1: Sexual violence
Sexual violence encompasses acts that range from verbal harassment to forced penetration, and an
array of types of coercion, from social pressure and intimidation to physical force
Sexual minority respondents report levels of intimate partner violence equal to or higher than those
of heterosexuals.
• Sexual violence is most prevalent among bisexual women: In NL 33-50% of bisexual women, as
compared to 21% of heterosexual women and 27% of lesbian women
• Approximately 25% of MSM have experienced sexual violence, compared to 5% of heterosexual
men
due to stereotypes about bisexual people: less boundaries, more sexually active, willing to have
sex with everyone, which is not true of course.
Almost half of all transgender people have been sexually assaulted at some point in their lives, rates
even higher for POC, (ex-)sex workers, homeless people, disabled persons importance of
intersectionality!!
Adolescents are especially at risk:
risk factors: sex is still new (learning process), limited skills, peer pressure, alcohol/drug use, casual
sex.
protective factors: warm nest, communication, education and training
There is an overlap of sexual perpetration and victimization, they are closely related.
Who perpetrates sexual violence? Not just scary people in dark alleyways (as presented in media and
news outlets), in reality most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim (80%).
Part 2: enabling social norms & stereotypes
rapy myths (“attitudes and beliefs that are generally false but widely and persistently held, and that
serve to deny and justify male sexual aggression against women”) are particularly harmful for
attitudes, shift blame from perpetrator to victim. (e.g. if you had orgasm, you must have wanted it OR
you should not have been drinking/wearing that, you were asking for it). Concept was first introduced
in 70s and first studied in 1980, they are strongly related to sexual gender role stereotypes, and
negative attitudes about gay men.
The impact of victim blaming can be even as bad as sexual violence itself second rape.
Part 3: Sexual consent - consent and the law, developments
• 70s and 80s: emerging evidence on high prevalence of sexual violence
• 90s: No means No- campaigns (negative consent)
• 90s – NL: Rape within marriage in Penal code
• 00s: Yes means Yes (affirmative consent) everything except yes means no
• 2014 – USA: affirmative consent laws (Title IX)
• 2018 - Sweden: affirmative consent law
• 2020 - NL: Grapperhaus presents concept adaptation Penal code
• 2022 - NL: Government commissioner appointed for sexual violence (Mariëtte Hamer, she has to
create awareness and social changes, appointed after BOOS aflevering)
• 2024 – NL: Law ‘sexual crimes’ will be in effect
A well-known metaphor about consent is drinking tea. It is an oversimplification. It is not as simple as
tea:
, • Giving or receiving consent may be far more intricate than simply accepting or declining a cup of tea
• A known response of victims of SV is to freeze, which makes it hard to say no
• Sexual preferences and desires may change and can be ambiguous, even during a sexual act (it is a
grey area, not clear cut yes to all the sex or no
• People may feel coerced into giving explicit consent, video does not talk about power dynamics
• Situations might not be clear in reality
• There’s a difference between consent violation and consent ‘accidents’ (related to
miscommunication, lack of information, trial and error) (Duits, 2019; Glickman, 2019)
What is consent:
1) internal state of willingness: not directly observable, but inferences are made based on behavior.
2) Consent as an act of explicitly agreeing to something: external or affirmative consent.
3) Consent as behavior that someone else interprets as willingness (implied or inferred consent:
indirectly given, indicated by a sign, action or inaction).
The complexities: individuals often have multiple objectives, sometimes conflicting. Decisions about
how to communicate consent are often sequential and contingent. Behaviors are often done
concurrently rather than one at a time. Behaviors used most frequently to show consent are not the
behaviors most indicative of consent. Consent cues are indicators of likelihood, not agreements.
Difference between permission (toestemming) and consent (instemming).
Consent in theory and practise:
Affirmative consent behaviors seem highly inconsistent with the way in which individuals engage in
real-life sexual interactions (Shumlich & Fisher, 2018)
A broader approach in which positive and effective consent is seen as a continuous process of ‘tuning
in’ (afstemming), may offer potential new directions.
Does not make it any easier for the penal code, though…
This approach to consent emphasizes being sensitive and responsive to yourself, your bodily signals,
but also to the other person(s) involved; and is all about fostering both explicit and implicit
communication about this (Ellen Laan)
What to learn about consent from the world of kink?
“Consent is what differentiates BDSM from abuse, and polyamory from cheating,” says Susan Wright
from NCSF. “Without consent, you’re harming your partners. With consent, you have the ability to
explore your own sexuality as well as your partners’ in a way that is responsible and mindful”
- Don’t assume anything, talk about what sex acts mean to you (can be explicitly said)
- consent is a continuous dialogue and may include safewords or a traffic light
- get good at describing what gives you pleasure
Does fighting sexual violence help with focusing on pleasure?
- knowing a YES increases the agency/autonomy and self-knowledge so you can say NO
- but also (if not more): focusing on pleasure helps in being sensitive, responsive, and listening to the
other(s) involved
Key messages:
• Sexual coercion and violence is highly prevalent
• Young people are at high risk and so are LGBTIQA+
• Social norms about gender, sex and relationships are affecting behaviour and attitudes on SV such
as rape myth acceptance and victim blaming
• And these are, in turn, related to prevalence of SV
