fHoorcollege 9; Love and Sex
Adolescent romance
- Daydreaming about the person in front of you in class with whom you have never spoken
- Claims to have a boyfriend, but denied by the boy
- Talk on phone everyday (or texting), but never seen in public together for fear of being ridiculed
- Going together but only spending time together with other members of their crowd
- Going steady for 3 years (the “real” thing)
- --> So, it's not just about being in a romantic relationship
Romantic experiences = It arranges from fantasies to interaction to relationship
Romantic relationship
- Romantic Relationship = mutually acknowledged ongoing voluntary interactions between 2
people.
- Compared to other peer relationships, romantic ones typically have a distinctive intensity,
commonly marked by expressions of affection and current or anticipated sexual behavior.
- Applies to same-gender, as well as mixed-gender, relationships.
Romantic experiences
- Romantic experiences = refers to activities and processes that include romantic relationships
and also behavioral, cognitive, and emotional phenomena that do not necessarily involve direct
experiences with a romantic partner.
- Includes:
o fantasies and one-sided attractions (“crushes”),
o interactions with potential romantic partners (including flirting) and
o Brief, nonromantic sexual encounters (e.g., “hooking up,” or casual involvement in
activities usually thought to take place with romantic partners, from “making out” to
intercourse)
What are the significance of an Adolescent romance
- Romantic relationships support the development of interpersonal skills and promote a sense of
identity.
- Experiment with romantic relations
o may facilitate healthy relations in adulthood.
- Opportunities to gain/develop skills in the expression and regulation of emotions, empathy and
intimacy with another person
Developmental Progression of romantic and sexual interest and Behavior
- 8-11 (Pre and early puberty) adrenarche is occurring, the androgens are increasing. They turn on
romantic interests
o First crush, Sexual attraction, Sexual arousal, More awareness of social rules
, - 12-17 Mid and late puberty
o Gender intensification
Gender binary (division between boys and girls) are really clear
Conformity increases and then subsides
o Romantic relationships
Duration becomes longer
More intense
Some life-long partners
o Sexual Experiences increase
Intimacy as an adolescent issue
- Not until adolescence do truly intimate relationships first emerge
- Characteristics of true intimacy:
o Openness, honesty, self-disclosure, and trust
- Intimacy becomes an important concern due to changes of
o Puberty
o Cognitive changes
o Social changes
- While there is a lot of focus on peer relations during adolescence, one must remember that with
the onset of puberty there is also an increase in sexual interest and so romance and sexual
relations become very important
What is intimacy?
- Intimacy involves a relationship where two or more people reveal personal thoughts and
information about each other.
- Comfortable revealing themselves in an intimate relationship
o They do this, so that they feel comfort and support from the other person and also so
that they can provide this for the other person
- Physical closeness usually comes along with intimacy (Eg, hugging and touching)
How does intimacy develop in adolescent friendships?
- We don't start of with a blank slate in terms of intimacy in romantic relationships. Friendships
also serve that purpose of beginning to disclose the self to others
- Intimate friendships are defined as "the ability to share one's thoughts and feelings with a
friend “(Berndt & Williams, 1990, p. 278).
- Intimate friendships become more common in adolescence
o feel it is safer to reveal things to their friends
- Adolescents seek approval from adults,
o therefore, less inclined to reveal things
o fear of being looked upon as childish
- Adolescents look for intimate relationships with other adolescents
o feel that others their own age are going through similar experiences, so they can share
more
, o Will be able to relate (Cole and Cole, 1993)
- Intimacy in a romantic relationship differs from a friendship because of the added sexual
interest. You're slowly disclosing yourself to another person and maybe hope to become maybe
more physically intimate
- Emotional intimacy increases with age and experience with relationships, first romantic
relationships have very little intimacy
o The more relationship --> the more intimate you dare to be/share/do
- Adolescents learn how to express and deal with their sexual identities by discussions with their
friends.
o For those adolescents that don't have a relationship, often talk a lot with adolescents
that are in a relationship, so they gain experiences/knowledge what to do and what not
to do. So, there is a lot of education in peer groups (indirectly) and they also learn how
to express and deal with their sexual identity by these conversations with their friends
Dating
- A date is a social engagement between young people with no commitment beyond the
expectation that it is fun for both. Generally, romantic relationships begin with a date.
- Factors related to dating frequency
o People who are liked by peers
o Large number of close other-sex friends, larger network of other-sex members and thus
an increased likelihood of romantic relations
o Age (older more)
Dating relationships
- Serve many purposes:
o Developing intimacy
o Establishing emotional and behavioral autonomy from parents
It's not your parents, but your new potential romantic partner you lean to when
you want support
o Furthering development of gender identity
o Learning about oneself as a romantic partner (self-concept)
o Establishing/maintaining status and popularity in peer group
Peers/adolescents love to talk about romantic relationships within the group
Prevalence
- Romantic relationships are very common, in the past 18 months
o 25% of 12-year-olds reported having one
o 50% of 15-year-olds
o 70% of 18-year-olds, 80% if you've ever been involved in a romantic relationship
, Not trivial
- Early adolescence (25% daters)
o 80% thought of themselves thought they would consider themselves as a couple
o Of these, 67% had told each other they loved each other (Carver et al., 2003)
- Late adolescence (80% daters)
o By age 18, average length of relationship 9.5 months
Can dating too young lead to problems? Is it age or the peer group?
- Norms for dating:
o Descriptive norms: what others do/what we think other people do
o Injunctive norms: what others approve of / desire (Do they think it's okay to...)
Downside of early adolescent romantic relationships
- Links to depression (Compas et al., 1998; Welsj, Grello, & Harper, 2003)
- Negative association to academics (Brendgen, Vitaro, et al., 2002)
o Those who date earlier tend to not do as good at school
o Kids who want to go further in their academic training
- Risk for aggression is more likely to delay having sexual
o Attraction to aggressive peers increases in middle school
o Early adolescent romantic relationships --> higher risk of having/experiencing partner
violence
o Bullies date earlier and report more aggression (Connolly, Pepler et al., 2000)
Study: Progression of social, romantic and sexual events during adolescence (O’Sullivan et al. 2007)
- N = 7781 – 12–21-year-old
- 35% had no relationship in the original sample
-
- American sample, so among the older people, when you are going on a date, you're often going
to meet the parent
- At the ranking, you see the 'normal’ progression
Uncommitted dating and hooking up
- Uncommitted dating and hooking up is characterized by casual sex, though term includes many
other types of sexual encounters
- 28% of urban secondary students in any form of hook up in 2009 (associated with drug use,
truancy and school suspensions)