Liewe Ma: Die weegbrug (weigh bridge) en matriekafskeid (matric
farewell) – Bart
1. Ma, the year has gone by at a great speed (stinkspoed). I completely
(skoon) forgot (vergeet) to fill in my tax form (belasting) and so, oom
Kerneels had to (moes) help me. I actually (eintlik) work for peanuts
(for very little money), oom Kerneels says. Ma, it’s not real (rêrige)
peanuts (grondboontjies) like what you throw (gooi) to the monkeys
(ape) in the zoo (dieretuin); it’s just “by way of speaking (spreke),” says
oom Kerneels. Everything (alles) is now up to date (opdatum) again and I
think the tax people (belastingmense) ought to (behoort te) give my
money back because I get so little (min) and I am still (nog) honest
(eerlik) as well.
2. But Ma, Otto and his class had to (moes) organize (reël) the matric
farewell (matriekafskeid) for the matrics this year. This is now
something, Ma, because the city hall (stadsaal) is actually (eintlik) being
re-built (oorgebou) from the inside (binne) with all kinds (allerhande) of
funny (snaakse) things that they call “décor” and they are borrowing
(leen) this from the art theatre (kunsteater) in the Cape (Kaap). The
theme has something to do with the Egyptians (Egiptenare). This is like
the Egyptians that Ma will remember (onthou) from the Bible, who
fought (baklei) so much with the church people (kerkmense) and where
a bunch (klomp) of them went and drowned (verdrink) in the sea
because they couldn’t (kon nie) swim.
3. This décor consists of walls (mure) and pillars (pilare) and doors and all
kinds (allerhande) of other things and it actually (nogal) looks very pretty
(mooi). One of the dad’s, who farms (boer) with cows (koeie), called
(roep) Nakkie, has a big truck (lorrie) and we had to help go get the
décor from the Cape. Ma, these people do magic (toor) with all the
things (goeters) and it’s not real (rêrige) walls and pillars like (soos) what
we see on TV: it’s plastic and formelite that almost (amper) weighs
(weeg) nothing. I carried (gedra) a big pillar and almost (amper) felt like
Samson (Simson), but couldn’t (kon nie) see Delila. I’m joking (spot), Ma,
I don’t look (kyk) at other (ander) women. Lenie will kill me (slag my af).
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, We loaded (gelaai) all the décor onto the lorrie and drove home (pad
huis toe gevat), it’s not far (ver) from us.
4. And then the trouble (moeilikheid) started (begin). There was a weigh
bridge (weegbrug) on the road where they weigh (weeg) trucks that are
so overloaded (oorvol). We know about the weigh bridge, just (nes) like
the one at the koöperasie. And the traffic officer (spietkop) chased
(jaag) us from behind (agter) with his car and lights and hooters, as
though we went and stole (gesteel) something. Nakkie and I climbed out
(uitgeklim) and the man started pointing (beduie) at our marble
(marmer) pillars and all the walls that weigh (weeg) tons (tonne). He’s
very stupid because he doesn’t know that it’s just make-believe things
(speel-speel goeters) and he preaches (preek) to us about how we are
putting (stel) other people’s lives (lewens) in danger (gevaar) and driving
the roads (paaie) into a bad state (slegte toestand). Nakkie says that he
can weigh the truck, but then said nothing further (verder). Ma, then the
man was like a wound up (opgewende) jack in the box, as dad would
have said, the way he kept (aanhou) pointing (beduie) as if we now went
and loaded (gelaai) the entire (hele) Egypt onto the truck. He then first
(eers) asked Nakkie if the heavy (swaar) weight (gewig) won’t break
(breek) the scale (skaal) and then I started laughing myself out of my
shoes (uit my skoene) and the guy didn’t think it was funny (snaaks).
Nakkie replied no, and then he pulled (trek) the truck onto the scale. Ma,
the cop then looked at the scale’s meter and again at the truck, again at
the scale’s meter and again at the truck and then he got really confused
(deurmekaar) because everything weighed only (net) 3 tons on the 10-
ton truck. He then asked Nakkie whom is taking a chance (kans) with
whom because the scale is always right and if we are lying about our
truck’s weight (gewig), then we were on our way (oppad) to the police
cells.
5. But the man was so rude (oprukkerig) and I then told the cop that he
should go fetch (haal) a scale from his office (kantoor) and then we’ll
weigh one of the pillars on that little scale (skaaltjie). The cop almost
(amper) cursed at me (amperse lelike woorde). He just had to go get the
scale. But Ma, the man got such a fright (geskrik) when I took (gehaal)
the pillar off. He was first white in the face and then red and then he
started (begin) sweating (sweet), Ma, and the guy was struck (geslaan)
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